The Ties That Bind
by Teeheehee123
Summary: Horatio had never been reasonable when it came to the subject of his brother, Raymond. Will the lieutenant's insistence that his brother was a good man be his undoing?
1. Chapter 1

**I've been away for a long time and am probably pretty rusty at this writing lark. There is no guarantee that I will finish this story, but I wanted to see if I still had the writing bug. Thanks go out to Mari76 for pushing me to try writing again and BrailleBaby for posting a new chapter to her wonderful Horatio series!**

* * *

"Hey, have you seen Horatio this morning?

Calleigh looked up from the piece of trace evidence she was holding and placed the magnifying glass down on the desk.

"He's not here yet?" she asked. "He's usually up and in before the dawn chorus."

She smiled as she said it, although there was a mild tone of exasperation mixed in with her usual Southern laid back demeanour.

Horatio was often like a dog with a bone. Once he had sunk his teeth into a case he was unlikely to let it go until he and the team had solved it and put the perpetrators behind bars.

Speed shrugged his shoulders. "He's not in his office. Alexx says she hasn't seen him either. I figured he'd be in here with you looking over the evidence on the Davis case."

Calleigh looked at the stack of evidence bags in front of her. The crime scene had been a messy one. Four victims killed in their family vacation home on Coral Beach. No sign of forced entry and no signs of a struggle. The crime scene was nothing short of a blood bath and it had taken the whole team two days to collect the evidence.

Now came the hard part. Figuring out what the hell had happened to leave four members of the same family dead.

Calleigh shook her head ruefully. "Believe me, I could use some help going over this evidence." She blew a strand of hair that had come loose off her forehead. "Horatio's the one who is so good at piecing it all together."

Horatio had hand-picked his team and all were fine investigators in their own right. There was something Horatio had that the others lacked and it was not something that could be taught. His instincts were second to none and his ability to see the obvious in the obscure often led to the toughest of cases being cracked.

"Have you tried his cell phone?"

Speed nodded, frowning. "Goes straight to voicemail."

That definitely was not like Horatio. Much like his gun, his cell phone was constantly with him. Horatio always answered his phone when his team called. Without fail.

"Something's not right here."

Speed nodded again. The man was laconic at the best of times, but the frown marring his features spoke silently of his concern for their leader. Something was wrong.

"Can we check the GPS signal on his phone?"

Speed pulled his own cell phone out and made the call.

Motioning to the evidence in front of her, Calleigh rose from her chair. "I'm going to sign this back in and then head over to his house."

Speed slowly clicked the phone shut.

"You know where he lives?"

Horatio was a fiercely private man. He seemed to have an aura of mystery that those close to him felt compelling and magnetic.

This wasn't a conversation that she wanted to get into right now. If Horatio was in trouble, standing here explaining herself to Speed wasn't going to help either of them.

"Let me know when we have a location." She called out as she walked back toward the evidence locker.

* * *

There had been no sign of Horatio at his house and no signs of a struggle either. There were also no signs that Horatio had been home any time recently. Things weren't adding up.

Looking across Horatio's kitchen, she willed herself to concentrate and find a clue. Horatio was not the type of man to just up and disappear.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realised that Alexx had entered the room until she spoke.

"Any news on tracing Horatio's cell phone?" the ME asked.

Alexx had insisted she come along with her. Without it being said, there was a growing feeling in the team that something was wrong. Very wrong. Heaven forbid that Alexx's expertise might be needed.

As if on cue, Calleigh's cell phone chirped.

"Uh huh," she said as she scribbled something down on a piece of paper. "How long has it been static?"

Calleigh clicked the phone shut, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to keep her rising panic at bay. "We have a location on his cell phone signal. It hasn't moved for hours."

Both women knew it could mean one of two things – Horatio's cell phone had been dropped or abandoned, or the lieutenant still had it on him and was either incapacitated or unable to answer.

Calleigh wasn't sure which outcome was worse, picking up her keys from Horatio's kitchen counter, Alexx followed her as she moved toward the front door.

Both women were quiet as they drove toward the coordinates given as the location of Horatio's phone. The incessant radio chatter became nothing more than background noise as they both scanned the ever quieter roads that led toward the Glades.

"Calleigh, stop! Over there."

She stepped on the brakes and followed Alexx's line of sight. Her heart sank as she saw Horatio's Hummer parked on the side of the road.

With no car and no phone, they would have little chance of finding him.

Pulling her gun from her holster, Calleigh placed an arm in front of Alexx, stilling her forward momentum as the ME clenched the hand of her kit bag tighter.

"Stay here for a moment. I'll let you know when it's clear."

The doctor nodded and willed her hands to keep still as Calleigh approached the abandoned vehicle silently.

Creeping slowly forward with her gun trained ahead of her, Calleigh spotted something instantly recognisable – the tip of an Italian leather shoe just behind one of the rear wheels of the Hummer.

Ensuring that the coast was clear, Calleigh re holstered her weapon and beckoned Alexx forward. "Alexx, I need you over here now." Try as she might, she was unable to keep her voice from wavering as she looked down at the body.

Was he dead?

Calleigh couldn't bring herself to reach out and check for a pulse. Fear had kept her motionless.

There was so much that she wanted to say. So many things she should have told him sooner.

What if she never got the chance?

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Alexx exclaimed as she knelt down and reached out toward the body, immediately checking for a pulse.

She let out a sigh of relief as she felt it.

"Calleigh, call for a bus."

There was no response until Alexx gripped her colleague by the shoulders and shook her gently. "Get a bus here now, we need to get him to hospital."

Her voice seemed to get through to her this time as Calleigh nodded and pulled her cell phone out with a shaky hand and dialled the dispatch number.

"What the hell did they do to you, honey?" Alexx asked as she rolled him onto his back, wincing at the bruising and bleeding that marred his face and hair. She had no doubt that if she looked closer that she would find further evidence that the lieutenant had been brutally attacked and left for dead.

"Calleigh, get me some blankets from the Hummer."

Alexx continued her assessment of her casualty as the blonde woman did as she asked, returning promptly and holding the material out in front of her.

A faint groan stopped both women in their tracks.

"Horatio, can you hear me?" Alexx gently shook his shoulder, wincing as he flinched away suddenly. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

One eye was already swollen shut. It was impossible to tell if he had heard her, let alone complied with her request.

His face was a mess of cuts, bruises and swelling. Whoever had attacked him had likely not been on their own. Horatio was not a man prone to violence, although both women were under no doubt that the lieutenant could look after himself in a fight if needed.

Calleigh glanced down at his hands. There was clear evidence on his knuckles that he had tried to fight back against his attackers. The left hand appeared swollen and she was certain that she could seen a faint shoe print on the back of it.

Hearing the sirens approaching, Calleigh looked up from the prone figure on the ground toward the sound of the ambulance and saw a smear of blood on the side of the Hummer, no doubt Horatio's.

It seemed to take forever for the paramedics to check him over and then gently move the still unmoving figure of Horatio on to a stretcher.

"Can I come with him?" Calleigh asked. "I'm a colleague...and a police officer." She showed them her credentials as the two paramedics looked at each other and nodded.

"Sure, but you'll need to stay out of the way. It looks like your friend took one hell of a beating."

"Will he be ok?" Calleigh asked nervously as she watched one of the paramedics attach leads to Horatio's bare chest while his colleague started the engine and sirens. She braced herself for the impact of the ambulance pulling away as she watched the man work on her boss.

It took a moment for the paramedic to answer her as he fiddled with wires and machinery. To Calleigh's untrained eye it didn't look good.

The paramedic stopped halfway through his analysis, realising that he was spouting medical jargon at her. He tried to give her what he hoped was a sympathetic smile.

"His pupils are sluggish which means he has a concussion but we won't know how serious it is until we get him to the hospital. There's tenderness around the chest and midsection and it feels distended , so likely there are some rib fractures and internal bleeding. Again, we won't know until we get him to Dade General."

The paramedic reached out a hand, placing it on Calleigh's forearm in what he hoped was a gesture of reassurance.

"How long was he out there for?"

The question took Calleigh by surprise. It suddenly hit her that Horatio had likely been out there all night. Why had they waited so long to check up on him?

If he died, it would be all her fault.

"I...I don't know," was all she could say.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind words and great reviews. You're all much too kind!**

* * *

"Ok, Speed. Keep me updated. I'll give you a call as soon as we know anything here."

Calleigh put her phone back into her jacket pocket as she saw Alexx approach.

"Any news yet?" the doctor asked, sitting down next to Calleigh.

It was protocol that someone stayed at the scene to preserve the chain of evidence. Not that it would really matter anyway, Calleigh thought to herself. She and Alexx had both probably contaminated any evidence Horatio's attackers had left in their wake. Alexx had chosen to stay behind as Calleigh had hopped into the back of the ambulance.

 _Was it still considered protocol when an ME secured the scene and not a police officer?_

After speaking with Speed, it was clear to Calleigh that the team were less worried about a conviction and more concerned with Horatio's condition.

"They've been in with him for hours. What can be taking so long?"

Alexx placed a hand on Calleigh's arm, squeezing it lightly. "I'm sure he'll be fine - "

Her next words were cut off as Calleigh angrily shrugged the hand off of her arm. "You saw the state we found him in, Alexx. He's probably been out there all night, injured...bleeding...alone." The final words were barely more than a whisper.

"Calleigh, this isn't your fault..."

The younger woman snorted at that.

"We all went home last night. Horatio told me to sign the evidence back in to storage and to go and get some rest." Calleigh suddenly felt and overwhelming exhaustion hit her. "He said he would return a couple of missed calls and then call it a night himself. I had a feeling something was wrong and I did nothing. What kind of partner does that make me? What kind of friend?"

What was there to say in response? Anything that came to Alexx's mind sounded trite and meaningless. She stuck to a safer topic: the investigation into who attacked their leader and friend.

"Are Speed and Eric back at the lab now?"

Calleigh nodded, closing her eyes and willing herself not to cry.

The two men had probably broken every speed limit as they forced their way through morning rush hour traffic to get to the scene. The next few hours had been spent thoroughly processing the aftermath of the attack. Blood smears and spatter, boot and shoe prints. Even a piece of broken tooth that was undoubtedly Horatio's.

"Tyler is going through his phone records. Maybe it will give us a clue as to what he was doing out on a deserted road alone." Calleigh let out a sigh of frustration. "It's against every damn rule in the book. Horatio knows better than to go off anywhere alone!"

"He must have had a reason, honey - "

Alexx's next words were cut off by a doctor approaching them.

"Are you here for Lieutenant Caine?" he asked, sitting down on a chair opposite the two ladies.

Calleigh nodded her head. "We are. Will he be ok? What happened to him?"

The doctor held up a hand, bringing any further questions to a halt.

"Let's start at the beginning, shall we?" He smiled as Calleigh closed her mouth and looked at him intently. "We've run some scans and confirmed that the lieutenant has a skull fracture - "

The doctor paused, hearing the gasp that escaped Calleigh's throat.

"Thankfully, there appears to be no swelling at the current time, but we'll keep an eye on that and see how he fares over the next 36-48 hours. We need to take him to surgery for a procedure on his spleen. It seems as if he was hit in the midsection repeatedly with a lot of force. His left hand his broken, but we can splint that for now until we've taken care of the more serious issues. His nose is broken, there's a hairline fracture of the left cheekbone, four broken ribs..."

"Can we see him?"

The doctor looked at Calleigh and was about to object when she interrupted him. "He may still have evidence on him that could help us find his attackers. I take it that you haven't cleaned him up yet?"

The doctor shook his head. "No. Judging by the injuries it's clear that your colleague sustained a prolonged and severe beating. We tried to preserve as much evidence as possible. I'm not sure how much we may have compromised though."

Alexx smiled faintly at the doctor as the three of them headed towards Horatio's hospital room. "Let us worry about that."

* * *

The two women worked in silence as they combed Horatio's hair, looking for any trace evidence that his attackers may have left behind. Alexx swabbed the knuckles and fingernails on each hand before gently placing them back on the bed, feeling her anger rise as boot prints were beginning to make themselves visible on the lieutenant's back and chest.

A groaning noise eminated from the bed as Calleigh was returning her camera to her kit.

"Horatio, honey. You're ok, you're in the hospital," Alexx reassured him, coming to his side and gently sweeping some of the bloodstained hair from his forehead. The one eye that wasn't swollen shut seemed dazed and unfocused. It wasn't clear if he'd heard or even understood what Alexx had said to him as his eye drifted shut and his head fell gently to one side.

"It's the effects of the concussion," the doctor said as he reentered the room with two nurses and a porter in tow. "He's been in and out like that since he was brought in."

"Did he say anything to you when he was concious?" Calleigh asked.

The doctor shook his head. "He's been incoherent the whole time. A skull fracture and a nasty concussion causes disorientation, incomprehension..."

"How long will it last?" Calleigh asked, looking to Alexx for reassurance.

The doctor grimaced, rubbing a stubbled cheek. "It's difficult to tell with head injuries. That's why we'll be sending him for regular MRI scans, just to check for any swelling around the fracture site. I would estimate at least a couple of days before the effects of the concussion wear off...providing there are no complications," he replied as he kicked off the brake on the bed and motioned for the nurses and porter to assist him in moving their patient from the room. "We need to get him down to surgery. I'll come and find you as soon as we're done."


	3. Chapter 3

Calleigh had been staring into her coffee, swishing around contents that had long since gone cold. The chirping of her phone broke her from her reverie.

"What have you got, Speed?"

This was not a time for pleasantaries. Everyone was on edge.

"We found at least four different footprints at the scene. Not including H's."

Alexx had returned to the lab with Horatio's clothes and shoes, along with the samples from his hair and fingernails.

"Some of the blood we found on the Hummer isn't H's. We're running it through the system now."

Calleigh pieced the information together in her mind. Horatio had been set upon by at least four attackers, but at least he'd managed to get a few blows in himself before they overpowered him. Horatio could look after himself, but he would never have stood a chance four against one.

"What about the phone? Have we had any luck on the call log?"

Speed took a moment before he responded. Calleigh could almost imagine him tilting his head in a manner that was so similar to that of their leader.

"Most of the calls were to and from the lab. A couple from detectives. I assume about cases we're working on..."

"Anything unusual come up?"

"Yeah. There's one number I don't recognise on here. In incoming call yesterday afternoon and then an outgoing one around 9pm last night."

Right around the time Horatio had instructed her to go home for the night. If only she had stayed, maybe he wouldn't be in hospital right now...

"The cell phone signal was static from about 10.30pm until you found him this morning," Speed continued.

 _He took a beating and they left him for dead. We left him out there all night, on his own..._ Calleigh could feel the guilt eat away at her insides.

"Ok, keep me posted on tracing the number and let me know if you come up with anything."

"Sure," Speed responded, "Have we managed to get anything from H yet?"

"Nope. I'm still waiting for the doctor to tell me he's out of surgery." Try as she might, she couldn't stop her bottom lip quivvering as she spoke.

"Give him my best. Tell him we're all thinking about him."

Calleigh snapped the phone shut, feeling all the worse for Speed's final words. Not an effusive man at the best of times, Speed's concern for his boss was fully evident in his voice.

* * *

A gentle shake on her shoulder brought her awake with a start. A nurse looked down at her sympathetically, holding out a cup of coffee which Calleigh gratefully took a sip of, feeling the liquid working its way to her stomach and then into her blood stream.

"Your colleague has been out of surgery for a few hours." The nurse smiled as she spoke, "He's back in his room if you'd like to see him?"

No second invitation was needed. Calleigh shot up from the chair, following the nurse to the private room. She was relieved to see that the blood and dirt had been cleaned up, but the swelling and bruising that stood out on Horatio's skin was alarming. Her eyes traced the tubes and wires, along with the bandage across his abdomen.

Seeming to pick up on her anxiety, the nurse began explaining, "The monitors are just there to measure pulse rate, blood pressure...that type of thing. It will give us an indication if anything drops too low or spikes too high. We've got him on oxygen to help with his breathing and take some of the pressure off his chest with his broken ribs."

Calleigh's eyes fixed upon the two drips, one attached to a port on the back of each hand. "What are you giving him?"

"Fluids to help his blood pressure and electrolytes to level out. Morphine for the pain."

"He's in pain?"

The nurse attempted to put Calleigh at ease. "Not at the moment. He's still under the anaesthetic from the surgery and we'll be keeping him on morphine for the next few days at least. He may be with us here for a while."

Calleigh smiled her thanks at the nurse as the woman left the room, while she herself settled in for a long night. She wanted to be here if and when Horatio woke.

* * *

She must have closed her eyes at some point. They sprang open instantly when she felt a tremor move through the hand she had been holding all night.

"Horatio? Can you hear me?"

The only response was a groan from the man in the bed as his head moved slowly from one side to the other. Suddenly, the unswollen eye opened, the pupil dilating in response to the light in the room. Calleigh could see the eye scanning from left to right as the beeping from the monitors increased.

"Hey, you're ok. You're in the hospital," she tried to reassure him by placing a hand on his cheek, shocked when he weakly lifted a hand to defend himself.

"No," he mumbled, his heart rate increasing further.

Calleigh tried again to soothe him. "You're safe. You're ok, I'm here with you."

It took endless minutes, but it seemed as if her calming words were finally getting through to him as the beeping began to lessen. Stroking the one cheek that wasn't swollen, she watched his eye drift shut slowly.

"It can be a side effect of the morphine," the nurse said as she came to take a reading from the monitors. "The concussion isn't helping either. He's probably going to be out of it for the rest of the night." The nurse placed the chart at the end of the bed. "Go home and get some rest. You've been here all day."

Nodding her head, Calleigh placed a brief kiss on Horatio's cheek and left the room.

* * *

The team met in Horatio's office the next morning. The three of them felt awkward being there without their leader being present. Almost as if it were an invasion of his privacy.

"Any news about Horatio?" Alexx asked as she joined them in the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Calleigh shook her head. "Still not lucid yet. I'm going to head over to the hospital later to see if there's been any change."

Eric pursed his lips. "The rumour mill is going into overdrive out there. Everyone's talking about what happened yesterday."

"Frank Tripp is running the investigation," Speed added, handing out take-out coffees to everyone. "The Chief said we needed another set of eyes on this."

The insinuation was clear. The brass obviously felt as if the team were too close to be able to be objective.

"He's running down leads about the call H made last night. It's our best guess that whoever called him was the one who set him up." Speed said.

Eric ran a hand over his short hair. "Who would have it in for H?"

Speed raised an eyebrow. "Just about every criminal in Miami."

"It's been that way for years," Calleigh said. "Why now? What's changed? Why beat the hell out of him and not kill him?"

She had a point, as blunt as it sounded. If someone had wanted Horatio dead, they would have made sure that they'd finished the job. Retribution would have been swift and cold. A prolonged attack spoke of something more... something personal.

After hours talking with Tripp and examining the evidence collected from the scene, it was late afternoon by the time she'd made it back to the hospital. Calleigh let herself quietly into Horatio's room, not wanting to disturb him. She saw him move slightly and heard him groaning at the pain it caused him.

"Horatio? It's Calleigh," she said sitting down, not holding out much hope that he would respond as she took his right hand and gave it a squeeze. She was surprised when he attempted to return the pressure.

"Calleigh," he croaked, swallowing deeply and groaning. "What...happened?"

Relief rushed through her as she realised he knew who she was. Perhaps the concussion was starting to wear off.

"I was hoping that you might be able to tell me that," she said, smiling at him, hoping that his lucidity would last. "We found you out by the Glades. Someone attacked you. Can you remember anything about it?"

She watched him as his good eye scanned the room, as if he were trying to recall last night's events. The energy expended in talking and thinking was rapidly draining his already low reserves. She could see him losing the fight to stay conscious.

"He called me...told me that he had some information." Horatio's voice trailed off, his eye beginning to close.

Calleigh squeezed his hand again in an effort to keep him concious. "Who called you? What information did they have?"

"I needed to know...I trusted him." Horatio's voice died out as his head drifted slowly to one side.

Who had he trusted? Who had set him up?


	4. Chapter 4

**It goes without saying that my eternal love, thanks, and gratitude go out to my dear friend, confidant, and the Big Z to my Little Z, WriterJasmine.**

 **Thank you for always being there for me and for being the best friend a girl could ask for. You've always been my biggest supporter, my awesome collaborator, and my partner in crime - I love you dearly!**

 **I just wanted to make sure that the whole world knows that!**

* * *

Calleigh was just about to give up on Horatio waking again when she heard a moan from the bed.

"Horatio?"

She could feel the unswollen eye focusing on her and hoped that he would be able to stay conscious long enough to be able to give the team something to go on.

Calleigh had taken a call from Frank Tripp several hours ago. The long and the short had been that the phone used to make the call to Horatio was a burner. There would be little they could do to track the owner. The best Tyler could do was give an approximate location of where the incoming and outgoing calls had originated from.

It felt as if they were going in circles and getting no further to the truth of what had happened the previous night. Their only hope was that Horatio would be able to provide the vital information that would help bring his attackers to justice.

"Oh god. My head hurts." Horatio groaned, attempting to lift his right hand to his face, stopping only when Calleigh gently took hold of it. The words were slightly slurred and impeded by the swelling to his mouth and jaw.

"That's probably not a good idea right now," she said, wincing at the swollen and bruised flesh of his face, wanting to stroke it but frightened that she would cause him more pain.

"How did I get here?" he asked, closing his unswollen eye and regretting trying to move any area of his body. Everywhere hurt.

"We traced your phone when we realised you weren't at the lab." The fear that she'd felt came back with frightening force. "We found you by your Hummer..." her voice trailed off.

"I don't remember," he replied, frustration evident in his voice.

"What's the last thing you do remember?"

Horatio looked up at the ceiling, willing himself to recall what had happened. So far it had all just been muffled sounds and images. He was silent for a while, hoping that his head would clear.

"He said he had information about Ray. He said he would only speak to me...that I had to come alone."

Calleigh's heart sank. The death of Ray Caine had become an obsession for his older brother. The talk of Miami had been that Ray had been a dirty cop – a story that Horatio had refused to believe.

Horatio was not a man to give up when he wanted something and his insistence on ruffling feathers about Ray's time undercover in Narcotics had won him no friends. Those who knew anything about Horatio knew that the death of his brother would be the one way that someone could get to him. Horatio bordered on irrational and unreasonable when it came to Ray. Whoever had set him up had known that.

"I remember getting out the Hummer...it all gets a bit hazy from there."

She could tell by the increasing slurring that he was losing his battle to stay conscious. She kissed the hand she was still holding as she saw his head slip gently to one side on the pillow. The doctor had warned that Horatio would be groggy for at least the next few days.

"Shhhh, don't worry about it now," she said, placing his bruised and battered hand down by his side.

* * *

The team gathered in Horatio's office the next morning along with Frank Tripp.

"Any luck with the burner phone?" Eric asked the detective, hoping that they could get some kind of breakthrough in the case.

The tall Texan shrugged his shoulders and frowned. "We know the call originated from just outside the Glades. It's a disposable phone, so no licensed owner we can track."

"Speed, any luck with the trace samples that we took from Horatio?" Calleigh asked. The phone was a dead end, their only hope being that some of the evidence left on Horatio's body would help narrow down who had attacked him and why.

"We found some cotton fibres from the fingernail swabs and I've managed to narrow down the size and make of two of the footprints that we found at the scene."

Calleigh turned to Eric next. "Did we get anything from Horatio's onboard camera?"

It was standard operating procedure that each Miami Dade PD vehicle was fitted with a dashboard camera. Even if the attackers weren't visible, there would be a chance that the camera had picked up the sound of their voices.

"The timeline we have from the phone matches the Hummer's camera. H got out of the vehicle around 10.30pm, there's at least two voices on the recording. One of them was H's and the other was an unknown male."

Eric stopped, looking uneasy.

"Eric?" Calleigh asked, "what is it?"

"The next ten minutes or so are just a bunch of thudding and groaning sounds."

It needed no further explanation, they could all imagine what had transpired over those ten minutes. Minutes that must have felt like a lifetime for Horatio.

Calleigh willed herself to remain focused on the task at hand. It would do no good to allow her mind to conjure up images of what the lieutenant had likely endured.

"How about the blood and epithelials we collected from Horatio?"

Speed answered again. "We're still running them through the system. Valera said she'd call straight away if anything pops."

Frank cleared his throat awkwardly. "I was planning on taking a trip to the hospital later on to see if I can talk to Horatio."

Calleigh smiled at the big detective. Frank and Horatio had not always had the best working relationship and had butted heads at times. Things had thawed between them recently when the lieutenant refused to let the detective drink himself into a stupor after the breakdown of his marriage to Melissa. If there was anyone she'd trust to talk to Horatio, it would be him.

* * *

Things were fuzzy when he tried to open his eyes.

God, everything hurt. Even blinking.

He felt strangely mellow too – probably the narcotics running through his system.

"Well you're a sight for sore eyes."

Horatio squinted with the one eye that wasn't swollen shut. "Frank?"

The detective smiled, walking closer to the bed. "No offence, but you look like crap."

He was inclined to agree with the assessment. His only hope was that he didn't look as bad as he felt. He groaned as he attempted to nod his head.

"How long have I been here?" Horatio asked, trying to lift his right hand from the bed and grimacing when it flopped back down.

"A couple of days. Alexx and Calleigh found you out by the Glades next to your Hummer. Looks like a bunch of goons jumped you out there."

Try as he might, he couldn't remember any of it. The frustration on his face must have showed.

Frank continued, reading from his notepad, hoping that something might jog the other man's memory. "Calleigh said that you told her that you were meeting someone about Ray."

He closed his eyes, willing himself to remember...something...anything.

Suddenly, it came to him. The missed call he'd had from an unknown number. He'd put it down to a crank call and had almost deleted the voicemail message without listening to it.

"Someone left a voicemail on my cell. I didn't recognise the voice, but they told me something that only someone who knew Ray would know."

Horatio grimaced as he tried to find a more comfortable position in the hospital bed. Whoever had attacked him had done a good enough job that even the smallest of movements caused pain to shoot through his entire body. He couldn't remember a time when he had ever felt this sore.

Frank scribbled the information down in his notepad. "What else did they say?"

Horatio looked up at the ceiling, trying to force his foggy mind to recall what had happened. It took several moments for the injured man to answer.

"He said that he had proof that Ray wasn't dirty. He gave me a location to meet him at."

Frank hoped that Horatio hadn't heard the sigh he'd let out. Everyone knew that rational thought went out the window for Horatio when it came to his brother Raymond. The lieutenant had made it his personal mission to clear up the mess left by his brother after his death. Despite all the problems that Ray's time undercover in the narcotics squad had caused, Horatio refused to believe that the man was a crooked cop.

"Out near the Glades?" Frank asked, looking up briefly from his notepad to the man lying injured in the hospital bed.

"He told me that it was too risky to meet somewhere public." There was a pause before Horatio spoke again. "He told me to come alone. He said he wouldn't meet otherwise. I remember pulling up...getting out of the Hummer."

Horatio's voice trailed off again as he willed his clouded mind to clear. He wasn't sure if it was the kicking he took or the drugs that were making it so hard to remember what had happened; either way, he was frustrated that he couldn't piece together the fractured parts of his memory.

"It's ok, Horatio. Take your time." Frank said, sitting down in the chair by the bed. Horatio was lucid for the first time in days. He would sit with his fallen colleague all day if it meant making progress on finding the bastards who had done this to him.

Frank knew that he wasn't being quite honest with himself. Horatio had become more than just a colleague to him recently, he had become a friend.

When his marriage to Melissa had fallen apart, Frank had found himself in a compromising position and a suspect for a young woman's murder. He'd been pissed that Horatio and his team had even considered that he could be capable of such an act and had reacted badly to Eric sticking his nose into his private affairs.

It was inevitable that Horatio would get wind of the situation and Frank hadn't relished the thought of the lieutenant knowing about his marital issues. The two of them had not seen eye to eye at times and Frank had found it difficult to keep up with his colleague's sometimes strange and abstract thought processes when it came to piecing evidence together and solving cases. There had been several instances of the lieutenant pulling something so far out of leftfield that it left Frank feeling bamboozled and angry that he hadn't been kept in the loop.

And yet it had been Horatio that had sat with him in the hotel bar, sipping on a black coffee while Frank worked his way through a bottle of scotch. The other man had said nothing, save for ordering another coffee. Both were not the type of man who relished talking about their feelings and Horatio had known better than to push Frank into opening up. Instead, he sat next to the detective in silent support, standing guard until Frank had made to move toward the bar's exit.

"I'll drive," Horatio had said as he swiped Frank's key's from his hand.

"I can do it," the other man slurred, weaving slightly as he made his way to the door.

"No can do, my friend. I'll drive you back to mine; you can use my spare room."

"I'm fine."

Horatio's voice had been quiet, yet the meaning behind his words were clear. "No, you're not...but you will be."

Horatio had smiled sadly at him as he helped the inhebriated man into the passenger seat of the car.

Horatio's low and smoky voice shook Frank from his reverie.

"The others came out of nowhere... I knew it was a trap and I tried to get to my gun, but someone hit me from behind. I felt the air go out of me... then I just felt the blows... I thought they were going to kill me."

It made Frank feel slightly uncomfortable to see Horatio unconsciously shiver at the memory of what had happened. He'd never seen the man outwardly display any sense of fear – even when things were looking like going to hell in a handbasket.

Horatio turned his head to look at Frank, the uninjured eye pinning him with a frightened stare. The detective only hoped that it was the drugs they were pumping into the injured man that were making him so uncharacteristically emotional.

Frank opened his mouth to say something when he heard the door creak open. His first instinct had been to reach for his service weapon, asssuming that the men who had attacked Horatio had come to finish what they had started. He heaved a sigh of relief when Yelina Salas poked her head around the door.

"Oh Horatio," she said, rushing to his side and placing a hand tenderly on the side of his face. "Ray Jr and I have just got back from Chicago. I would have come straight away if I'd known."

Frank took that as his signal to leave. Rising from the chair and placing the notepad back in his breast pocket, he gave Horatio a small smile. "Hang in there, partner. We'll get the assholes that did this to you."


	5. Chapter 5

He sat nursing a bottle of scotch, feeling terrible. Try as he might, he couldn't get the image out of his head.

How had things got so complicated? How was he ever going to get out of this in one piece?

His heart sank as he recalled his conversation with the other man several nights ago...

 _He swallowed at the knife against his throat, feeling the hot breath of the man holding it._

" _I think maybe you've outgrown your usefulness to us," the voice threatened. "You're supposed to be our man on the inside."_

 _He felt his mouth go dry. Had they found out the truth?_

 _If they had, he was a dead man._

" _Look. I've done everything you've asked. Do you know how much of a risk I've taken?"_

 _He had to defend himself. No one else was in this mess but him. He had to find a way out of it._

 _The other man lowered the knife, gently tapping it on his left leg, considering his words._

" _Our last three shipments have been seized. Do you realise how much that's cost us?" The knife came towards his face again. "Caine is an issue that needs dealing with."_

 _He felt his heart rate increase, instinctively knowing what would happen next. It would be a line he wouldn't cross. He couldn't cross._

" _If you kill him, we'll never get another shipment into Miami. They'll hunt you down. I guarantee it."_

 _The other man smiled. "Who said anything about killing him? I hear he's relentless when he wants something, I'm sure we can convince him to stick his nose somewhere else for a while..."_

" _He's not stupid. He won't agree to anything, especially from you."_

" _That's why I need your help. Tell me something that will change his mind..."_

He felt sick, remembering the phone call, hearing the words that he knew would be the bait for the trap. He knew that the lieutenant would bite without even thinking of the consequences.

He shook his hand, wincing at the bruises on his knuckles. He was no better than the rest of them. He too had set upon the man, landing punches and kicks until the lieutenant had stopped putting up a fight.

It had carried on for so long that he feared they would go back on their word. He had only agreed to setting up the meeting with the guarantee that any force used would be minimal. He hadn't wanted to lay a hand on him, yet the others would never truly believe he was on their side unless he took part in the attack.

With every blow that landed on the lieutenant's body, he felt a small piece of himself being beaten and broken out of shape.

* * *

He woke sometime later to Yelina looking down at him. Her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"Do I really look that bad?" Horatio quipped, groaning as the attempted smirk pulled at his tender facial muscles.

He let out a pained breath, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"How are you feeling?" Yelina asked, stroking the less damaged side of his face tenderly.

Was it the narcotics in his system, or was she looking at him lovingly?

The attraction between them had been strong from the beginning. Horatio had distanced himself when Yelina married his brother and had tried to maintain those boundaries, to deny that there was ever anything except familial love between them.

Several times Yelina had made her feelings known toward's her once brother in law. Horatio had let her down gently each time, making it clear that he would deny himself a relationship with her for the sake of his brother's memory, yet Ray's death had hit both of them hard and had brought them closer than ever.

Thoughts of Ray had been in his mind when he'd met with the man who claimed to have evidence that would exonerate his younger brother and finally lay to rest the demons of his shaded past. Perhaps then they could all finally move on.

"I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Twice."

He tried to raise an eyebrow, abondoning the attempt when pain lanced through his skull.

He felt her smooth hand leave his face and gently pick up his hand instead. Was she stroking him with the touch of a lover?

It must be the morphine making his thoughts so hazy and clouded.

"Horatio, are you ok?" Yelina asked, concerned at how pale he looked.

He grimaced as he tried to move. His thoughts were getting jumbled again as he felt the pain in his head growing in intensity. Everything in the room was spinning, the ringing in his ears becoming more than he could handle as everything suddenly went black.

* * *

Calleigh sat in Horatio's office, feeling a tiredness creep over her that threatened to soak into her bones. It had been another fruitless day of searching for leads and coming up empty.

The DNA collected at the scene was not listed in CODIS. She remembered the look on Valera's face as the young DNA specialist gave her the news.

"I know it's not what you want, but the only DNA found at the scene that came up with a match was Horatio's. All I can tell you is that the assailants were male."

Valera had smiled sadly as she backed out of Horatio's office, closing the door quietlty behind her.

The shoe prints had also proved to be a dead end. The brands of shoe and boot prints found at the scene could have been bought in any of a number of stores across the country. The DNA and physical evidence collected at the scene would only be useful if they had someone to match it to.

At least Horatio had been able to give a little more insight as to what had happened the night of his attack. Frank had called and relayed the message that the person who had called him had at least some sort of connection to Raymond Caine.

It made sense, Horatio had said Ray's name the last time she had visited him. Although far from coherent, he had been lucid enough to remember her and the reason he had agreed to meet with his mystery caller.

With all other leads exhausted, it only left one avenue left to explore – Raymond Caine.

Calleigh let out a tired sigh, knowing how tight-lipped Horatio was about his brother and his shaded past. It was a subject that he was unwilling to discuss with pretty much anyone except Yelina.

Her thoughts darkened slightly when she thought of the beautiful Columbian woman and her apparent hold over Horatio. Talk had been rife in the department that the two of them had grown increasingly close during Ray Caine's time undercover in the Narcotics division and even closer after his death.

Of course, most of that had been before she'd transferred to the Miami Dade PD Crime Lab, but the place was like a high school when it came to gossip and she couldn't help but hear some of the rumours that floated around in the breakroom.

She suddenly felt bad for feeling jealous of Yelina. What right did she have to lay claim to Horatio?

There had always been a frisson of something unspoken between them since their first meeting in New Orleans. Calleigh had met plenty of men, plenty of police officers, who claimed to be more than they actually were. Her past experiences of men had never been particularly positive and she had already promised to dislike the man visiting from the Miami Dade Crime Lab on principle. Who did this guy think he was coming down to New Orleans to claim duristiction on one of her cases?

She wasn't sure what she had been expected, but it certainly hadn't been the tall, handsome man who strode into her gun lab.

"Ma'am, would you be Calleigh Duquesne?" he'd asked, looking down briefly at the sunglasses in his hands and then back to her face.

She could tell from his accent that he wasn't a Miami native. If the accent hadn't been a big enough clue, his colouring clearly gave away the fact that he was built for colder climes than the harsh sun of Florida.

"You're Lieutenant Caine, I take it?" she asked, putting down the rifle she'd been test firing on the bench beside her.

"Call me Horatio," he responded, giving her a shy smile.

Her eyebrows rose as she visually assessed him. "That's a surprising name."

She'd felt her innards tingle as a small laugh rumbled in his chest. "Well, I think you'll find I'm full of them, ma'am."

Calleigh had been genuinely disapointed when the case had been concluded. The two weeks that she had spent working with the lieutenant had been challenging at times, but she had enjoyed every minute spent with the mysterious Horatio Caine, feeling a growing sense of something unspoken between them – the looks, the flirty comments, the small surge of electricity when their bodies briefly touched.

The look of genuine shock on his face when she had handed him a parting gift in the break room had touched her heart. It was as if no one had ever shown him such kindness before. There was so much about this man that she didn't know, but she'd hoped she would some day get the chance to find out more.

She smiled to herself as she remembered him opening the wrapped gift so carefully, almost as if it were a piece of evidence. The smile on his face even reached those sad and soulful blue eyes of his as he laughed in the way that made her insides tingle all over again.

"A little piece of Louisianna to remember you by?" he asked, eyeing the three packets of coffee.

She felt her heart flutter slightly at his words. "This stuff is the finest coffee in the state. I hope that when you're back in Miami, even if it's a bad day, your first coffee in the morning will be filled with good memories of New Orleans."

Their eyes met again and her heart broke at the wistful look on his face. "I'm not sure what to say. You're much too kind, ma'am."

The moment seemed to stretch between them for far too long, neither of them knowing what to say or do. She wanted so desperately to reach out and hug him, to beg him not to leave, that she had only just started to get to know this man. She wanted to know so much more.

He'd looked as if he were about to say something to her when a knock at the breakroom door interrupted them. A male uniformed officer stood awkwardly.

"Lieutenant Caine, sir. Your cab has arrived."

"Thank you, I'll be right there," he'd said, never taking his eyes off of her. "Until the next time, ma'am."

There had been several next times as they had both found reasons to keep in contact with each other and usually under the guise of a case-related issue. It had been with some suprise when he had called her to offer her a position in the Miami Dade Crime Lab several months after their first meeting in New Orleans.

She'd really only had one question she needed to ask him before agreeing to relocate. "What's the coffee like in Miami?"


	6. Chapter 6

Yelina sat in the hospital waiting room, worrying at the side of her already frayed polystyrene coffee cup. One minute she had been talking to Horatio and the next she had been removed from the room as they checked on him.

"Are you here for Lieutenant Caine?" a male voice asked.

She looked up to see the doctor that had entered Horatio's room earlier. "I am. Is he ok?"

There was something about the look on the man's face that made her feel uneasy.

"Please tell me. He's my brother in law...he's my family."

"Head injuries are tricky things and it's difficult to accurately gauge how a person will respond, especially after repeated blows to the head and face. For all intents and purposes, it seems as if he blacked out."

"Is that serious?"

The doctor frowned. "A loss of consciousness can be an indication of something serious and so we took the lieutenant for more scans. We're still concerned about the risk of pressure building in the brain around the fracture site, so we've transferred him to the ICU for now so that we can keep a closer eye on him."

The look of shock on her face must have shown as the doctor placed a hand gently on her arm.

"A loss of consciousness is also indicative of a serious concussion. We're just being extra cautious at this point. There will be a few more wires and monitors in his room, but we're happy that his condition remains stable. We're also administering quite a high dose of pain relief to keep him comfortable. we'll know if anything in his condition changes and be able to react accordingly to that."

Yelina smiled her thanks to the doctor as he rose from the chair next to her. How would she break the news to Ray Jr? What could she say that would possibly reassure the young boy when she wasn't even sure herself?

During Ray's time undercover in Narcotics, Horatio had stepped up to the plate and helped Yelina and her son in any way he could. As much as Ray Jr had loved his father, he idolised his uncle Horatio.

Ray Jr had a way of reaching the sometimes emotionally distant Horatio in a way few others could. She had no doubt that Horatio was a positive and calming influence on her son. Perhaps she and Ray both had too much of a fiery temper at times and she feared that their son would inherit the trait too. It would then be that the calm and level-headed Horatio who would take the young boy to one side and gently guide him back on the right path.

Ray Jr would be heartbroken to hear of Horatio's current condition and so she decided that perhaps it would be better to say nothing until she had something more concrete to tell him. There would be no point worrying the boy unnecessarily.

* * *

Calleigh wasn't sure that making the call had been the right thing to do, yet she was out of options. It was with a heavy and troubled heart that she had dialled his number. They hadn't exactly left things in a good place the last time they had spoken.

"You called?"

She looked up at the imposing stature of John Hagen standing awkwardly in the doorway to Horatio's office. She knew that he and Horatio had not always been on the best of terms, especially considering that Hagen had been Ray Caine's partner in Narcotics and had distanced himself from Horatio's brother in the months before his death.

"Thanks for coming. I wasn't sure that you would."

They had argued the last time they had spoken. John hadn't taken too kindly to her father looking over what he had considered an open and shut case of spousal murder. They had been seeing each other at the time and although she found him attractive and a sweet guy, there was a feeling on her part at least that she was settling for something less than what she actually wanted.

Their relationship had been short and intense, perhaps too intense for her liking. There was something about the detective that unnerved her at times. She'd been considering ending it when the situation with her father arose and it seemed as good a time as any to put some distance between them.

"I heard about Horatio." John's voice was devoid of emotion as he took the seat in front of Horatio's desk.

The mention of the lieutenant's name felt like a chasm separating them in the room.

"That's why I called you. I was wondering if you could help us."

The detective shrugged, his face betraying no outward sign of emotion. "I'm not sure what help I can give you. I only ever see him in passing or working on a case."

"But you worked with his brother, didn't you?"

This time there was a flicker of something fleeting across the detective's face. "We were partners in Narcotics. You know that already."

"We think the attack might have something to do with Ray."

Again, there was an almost imperceptible flicker of emotion across John's face. "Horatio never knew when to leave well enough alone when it came to Ray."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Narcotics is a dangerous game. There are people that you don't want to get on the wrong side of...people who have a lot of power and a long reach. Maybe he dug too deep, got too close to something he shouldn't have. The guy doesn't know when to quit...maybe this time someone put him in his place."

"You make it sound like he deserved it!"

Hagen shot up from his seat, pacing the room angrily. "You all put him on some sort of pedestal and treat him like he can do no wrong. The great, holier-than-thou Lieutenant Caine! Where was he when his brother died, tell me that?"

"Where were you?" Calleigh shot back, "You were supposed to be Ray's partner, remember?"

"Maybe you should all stop digging. This is probably way bigger than you think it is."

"Is that some kind of threat?"

Hagen gave her one finally look over his shoulder as he reached for the door handle. "Drop the case, Calleigh."

"I'm not going to stop until I get to the truth."

He sighed heavily. "And look where that got Horatio. Trust me, this won't end well."

* * *

 _Checking the coordinates on his phone a second time, he pulled up on to the side of the road and glanced ahead, not sure that he had the right place._

" _Come alone," the caller had told him._

 _He knew that it went against protocol to meet an unknown source alone. This wasn't police business though. This was personal and if it helped to clear Ray's name, he would willingly take the risk._

 _He saw movement from the other side of the road. His eyes took in the heavyset stranger standing with his hands in his pockets. There was no gun he could see, unless the man was hiding it tucked into his pants at the small of his back._

 _Pulling the keys from the vehicle, he got out and stood by the driver's door. "I'm here, as requested."_

 _The man glanced briefly to both the left and right before making his way toward the vehicle._

" _You came alone?" the stranger asked, looking down at the gun and badge of the man before him._

" _I did."_

 _The stranger looked around again. "You wouldn't be lying to me, would you? I don't tend to trust too easily...especially cops."_

" _I'm a man of my word," he replied. "Are you?"_

 _The stranger looked him up and down, as if sizing him up as a potential threat. "You're the dirty cop's brother?"_

 _He struggled to keep his tone neutral. "You know I am. I agreed to meet because you said you could help."_

" _You know he was in deep...real deep. Someone sold him out then...bang. The man's dead. Word on the street was that he was tweaking right up until the day he got popped. Rumour has it he switched sides...maybe one of your own did for him?" The stranger looked him up and down again. "People who stick their nose where it doesn't belong are liable to get it broken, if you know what I mean..."_

 _He was growing tired of this. The man hadn't told him anything he didn't know or suspect already._

" _Where is this going? You said you had information about Ray."_

 _The stranger smiled at him. "I can do better than that. I have a message."_

 _He felt someone land a punch to his kidneys. The unexpected blow dropped him to his knees as he gasped for breath. He felt the stranger's hand grip his chin roughly, the man sneering in his face._

" _What's the message?" he managed to gasp._

 _The force of the backhand across his face caused his ears to ring._

" _Stop looking."_

 _He tried reaching for his gun as more assailants crowded in. The blows came one after another, keeping him on his knees as he threw punches wildly at his attackers, feeling at least a few of them make contact with their intended target. If he was going down, he was going to take as many of them with him as he could._

 _Another blow from behind drove him to his hands and knees. He made a desperate attempt to grab his gun...his phone...anything that might save his life. A boot stamped down on his left hand and he cried out in pain, further reducing his defences until he could no longer put up a fight. He felt himself hauled up and thrown back against his vehicle, waiting for the death blow that he knew was coming._

 _This was it. He was going to die on some godforsaken road in the middle of nowhere._

 _There were more blows, more kicks as he fell to the ground again. He tried to curl up into a ball to lessen the damage his body was taking. His energy and ability to protect himself almost gone, he hoped that they would find him, even though he knew it would be too late._

He came awake with a start, gasping in pain as his damaged body reacted to the sudden movement. Before he could articulate a word, his stomach began to rebel. He grabbed wildly for the tray in front of him as his body tried to delay the inevitable.

A hand pushed him roughly forward and shoved something in his lap as he vomited noisily.

"Horatio, are you ok? How are you feeling?"

The last thing he could remember was Yelina stroking his face and asking him the very same question.

At first he assumed that no time had passed, until his eyes took in his surroundings. There were more wires and beeping from monitors. The room was different too as he watched her remove the kidney dish from his lap and place it across the other side of the room. Something had happened and yet he couldn't remember anything.

"What's going on?" he asked, feeling a growing sense of agitation. His mind was just a jumbled mess of images. His memories were fractured and he hated not being able to think clearly.

"You don't remember?"

No he didn't, and that was the problem.

Nothing was making any sense at the moment and now he had thrown up in front of a beautiful woman. He felt utterly miserable.

"Yelina, maybe it's best that you're not here for a while."

His words must have shocked her as he saw a look of surprise and then hurt cross her features. Things weren't making a great deal of sense at the moment and yet the one thread that pulled all of his disjointed thoughts together was that of his brother.

Whatever had happened had something to do with Ray. That meant that Yelina and Ray Jr could be at risk. He'd lost his brother, he wasn't going to lose them too.

"We're family, Horatio," she began to implore him. "Family look after each other. Let us take care of you."

The pain that he felt, along with the drugs they were giving him did not make for a good combination. His inability to clearly piece his memories togther only further served to frustrate him. Not only that, he knew that he was currently in no position to defend Yelina or Ray Jr should they be in danger. If they could get to him, they would come after them too.

He squeezed his unswollen eye shut, as much in an effort to lessen the emotional pain as well as the physical. He knew she would not take his rejection well, yet he knew he had to keep her out of this for her own safety and that of his nephew.

"I don't want you here. Please, just leave."

"But Horatio..."

"Go home, Yelina. I'm sure Rick's waiting for you."

He heard her sharp intake of breath. He hadn't wanted to wound her with his words, yet it would be the only way to keep her safe. Maybe it was a Caine brothers trait to put those closest to them at risk. Better for Yelina to alive and angry with him than paying the price for having the misfortune of ever knowing either of them.

He kept his eyes shut until he heard the door close quietly, knowing that he had hurt her deeply.


	7. Chapter 7

"Maybe you should call it a day."

Alexx's soft voice made Calleigh jump. She hadn't realised that her attention had wandered so far away that she hadn't heard the doctor enter the room. Horatio's clothes from the night of the attack were laid out before her. The coppery smell of blood mixed with Horatio's cologne caused her anger to surge anew. The clothes had been processed thoroughly by Speed for trace evidence and DNA by Valera. There would be nothing new to find on the material, her investigative intuition telling her that they'd done all they could with the evidence found.

It didn't make her feel any less useless though.

"How can there be no hits on CODIS for these animals," Calleigh asked her colleague, feeling her frustration build again. "Surely they have to be in the system somewhere."

It was beyond frustrating that the evidence collected so far was meaningless unless they had suspects to match it to. Their only hope would be that Horatio would be able to give a description of the men who attacked him as the effects of the head injury he'd sustained wore off.

"You're doing everything you can, sugar."

"Then why doesn't it feel like it?" Calleigh shot back.

Alexx knew the question was rhetorical and instead waited for her colleague to continue.

"If Horatio were here...he would have worked this out by now. We're failing him, Alexx."

The doctor's heart broke at how defeated Calleigh sounded. Giving in to pity wasn't going to help their leader now. The whole team needed to put their feelings to one side and get their heads back in the game.

"You're doing everything Horatio would expect you to do. It's why he chose you all to be on his team. It's why he chose you to lead...when he couldn't."

Alexx's words lay heavy in the room, as if a dark presence had entered and settled above them both.

"Have you been to see him today?" Alexx asked, trying to divert Calleigh's thoughts from becoming too melancholy. Feeling sorry for themselves would not help the situation.

The blonde woman shook her head. "Frank said that he's coming round from the concussion. He's staying awake for longer."

"Then what are you doing here, staring at his clothes?" Alexx said.

The doctor could see the uncertainty in her colleague's eyes.

"I'm not sure I could face him right now."

"Why on earth would you say that?"

Calleigh could feel the tears welling in her eyes. "I feel so guilty for not trusting my gut. I knew something didn't feel right that night. What if he never forgives me?"

Alexx raised an eyebrow at that. "Have you ever known Horatio to not be the forgiving type? Besides, there's nothing for him to forgive you for, so why don't you quit with the excuses and tell me the real reason you're not there with him right now?"

Calleigh opened and closed her mouth several times, her mind trying desperately to come up with an excuse. Anything would be better than being honest with herself.

"Alexx, it's difficult – "

"Then make it easy."

Calleigh could see that Alexx had that knowing look on her face. Was she really that easy to read?

"It's not that simple to explain…. Horatio and I….we've – "

"Been seeing each other?" Alexx prompted, having had a fair idea that there was something going on between the pair of them. She hadn't missed the way they looked at each other recently.

"No, we haven't" Calleigh shot back quickly.

"But you want to?"

Calleigh couldn't help the blush rising to her cheeks.

"Yes…. No…. I don't know, Alexx!"

The doctor moved toward her, placing a hand on her forearm and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe you should go and see him and take it from there?"

"What if he hates me for leaving him out there all night? What if there's some sort of long-term damage? We should have found him sooner, I'm meant to be his partner…. His friend, for God's sake!"

"I'm pretty sure the only people Horatio has any negative feelings towards are the assholes who did this to him in the first place."

Calleigh remained unconvinced until Alexx guided her gently toward the door of the evidence room. "Go and talk with him. Maybe it'll make both of you feel better."

* * *

Sitting alone in the dark room, he felt guilt and shame wash over him once more. It was his information alone that had drawn the lieutenant into the trap. It was all his fault.

He couldn't get the image of the unmoving figure out of his mind. They had left the man bloodied and beaten and unable to defend himself from any other would-be attackers. He could still hear the cracking sound as someone stamped on the man's hand. The coppery smell of blood as it arced across the lieutenant's vehicle. The pitiful sound of the man's groans as each and every one of his attackers flew in with fists and feet.

It haunted his dreams. He couldn't sleep more than a few hours without being assaulted by the images. Perhaps he was stuck in some sort of vicious cycle – his exhausted mind never letting him get more than a few moments peace before it all came flooding back to him again. The more exhausted he became, the more frequent the images and sounds flew at him.

Maybe this was his penance. There would be no way that he could ever justify his actions. No one would ever understand his reasons or forgive him for what he had done.

 _No good dead ever goes unpunished…_

If that were true, what possible hope did he have of ever making this right?

* * *

He'd been dozing since Yelina had left.

Maybe 'left' wasn't the right word. She'd pretty much stormed out of the room after his harsh words toward her.

He cracked his good eye open when he heard the door to his room creak.

"You up for a visitor?"

Horatio couldn't help smiling at the sound of her voice, even if it did pull on every bruised and damaged muscle in his face. He grunted as he tried to prop himself up further in the bed, smiling at Calleigh as she helped him wordlessly.

"It's not like I'm going anywhere," he said. His heart leaping at the fact that she'd come to see him.

Calleigh sat by the side of his bed, placing her purse on the floor and looking at him worriedly. Yelina had called earlier to let her know that Horatio had been transferred to the ICU.

Her initial reaction was one of panic when she'd heard the news. Her mind had thrown a number of horrific scenarios at her, all of which had reinforced her feelings of guilt. It had been her fault that he'd been lying out there injured for so long.

Horatio seemed to pick up on her distress and gave Calleigh's hand a firm squeeze.

"Doctor said that I blacked out earlier. They're just being cautious for the time being."

He smiled at her, trying to reassure her that he was fine. She didn't look convinced and so he tried a different approach.

"I've got the hardest head in Miami, Calleigh. You should know that by now..."

His words seemed to have the opposite effect on her. He could see her bottom lip trembling as she tried valiantly not to cry.

"Hey, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Still she wouldn't look at him. Maybe it was the effects of the concussion, but her actions weren't making any sense to him.

"Calleigh, you're starting to worry me….."

Panic began to set in. Did he have some sort of amnesia? Was there something that happened just before the attack? Something between them?

"Calleigh, please look at me," he said almost desperately.

What had they done to him while he'd been unconscious?

All he could remember was getting out of the Hummer, meeting with the guy who said he had information on Ray, and then just a flurry of fists and feet.

His heart ached to see her so upset. Had he the strength or ability, he would have pulled himself out of the bed and drawn her to him, as if his embrace alone could rid her of her own personal demons.

But he was unable to move without pain shooting through his body, and so he watched and waited until she finally spoke.

"I am so sorry, Horatio."

It must be the side effects of his injuries or the narcotics the doctors insisted on pumping into him. What she was saying made no sense.

"Why are you sorry?"

"It was my fault."

The pain in his head was starting to increase. He was confused – how could Calleigh ever think that this could be her fault?"

"Why?"

Again, she lifted those beautiful green eyes to his face.

"I had a feeling something was wrong, but I let you fool me with your bravado that everything was fine and that I should go home."

Horatio winced, trying to recall the conversation but coming up blank. There were still so many holes in his memory, so many things that still didn't make sense.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. It made the ringing in his ears all the more annoying and painful. It seemed to pulse in time with the throbbing of his headache.

"I have a bravado?" He asked, trying to lighten the dark and oppressive mood that seemed to have settled over the room.

"You think this is funny?"

Horatio winced as his look of wry amusement suddenly turned to one of shock at Calleigh's raised voice. He tried to lean back further into his pillows as he felt the full force of her anger.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been? How guilty I feel? You were out there all night for God's sake!"

"It's not your fault," he began, trying to placate her. "I have every faith in you and the team – "

"This isn't about the team!"

The ringing in his ears was getting louder, the pounding of his head more intense. He was about to ask her to explain what the hell she was talking about when he felt his stomach churn. He knew what would come next as he made a grab for the kidney dish.

Stomach emptied, he flopped back onto his pillows feeling wretched. Vomiting in front of two beautiful women in one day?

Could things get any worse than this?

Throwing up in front of Yelina he could live with, but Calleigh?

That was worse. Much worse.

"Are you ok?"

He would have nodded his head had it not been pounding so much. He mustered a small smile for her benefit.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," Calleigh said, depositing the soiled dish across the other side of the room.

"I probably deserved it."

His words were said in jest, yet they had the opposite effect on the beautiful blonde woman sitting by his bed.

Her hand went to the less injured side of his face as she spoke. "You didn't deserve any of this. I just want to help make everything better."

How could her tell her that her presence alone would make even the worst day all the more bearable just by seeing her face?

For months, she had been his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. Her visage haunted his dreams, teasing him with something he could never have.

He could feel the exhaustion take over him once more. His eyes betraying his mind's wish to stay awake and spend time with the woman who held his heart.

"Would you be offended if I closed my eyes for a while?" he said groggily, knowing that he would lose his fight with consciousness regardless. "I'd offer you a tour of the facilities – "

He felt her place a finger on his lips as she shushed him gently.

"Close your eyes, I'll be right here."

"You don't have to – "

"But I want to. Just close your eyes and relax."

And so he did. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on here, but somehow having Calleigh sit by his side made everything easier. He let the narcotics in his bloodstream do their work, hoping that when he woke, everything would start to make sense again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you once again to everyone who has read/reviewed the story so far. I honestly wasn't expecting such a response after so long away!**

* * *

She'd been furious with him and stormed out of the room, not caring if the slamming of the door caused him pain or discomfort.

How dare he speak to her like that?

After everything they had been through these past few years, she deserved more than to be tossed aside, to be told that her presence wasn't required.

 _It hurts, doesn't it?_ the snide voice in her head goaded.

Hadn't it been the exact same thing she'd done to him months ago?

She'd been livid to find out that Horatio had fathered a child with a drug addict. It was clear to anyone who bothered to look that Maddison must be his daughter. The facial features and the colour of the little girl's hair left no doubt in her mind as to who her father was.

And what had Horatio said at the time?

"It's more complicated than that…"

She hadn't given him time to explain. All the evidence that she'd needed was right there in front of her. He'd fathered a child and then hidden it from her for years. It was only by chance that she'd discovered the secret he'd been keeping, otherwise he probably wouldn't have told her at all.

She had been so disappointed to discover that Horatio was no different from Ray. She'd always seen Horatio has the reliable one, the sensible brother who would keep his wayward younger sibling out of trouble. There were times when she felt as if she'd married the wrong brother. Horatio would give her stability, consistency, honesty…

Or so she had thought. She'd come to the realisation that men were all the same, especially those with the name Caine.

She'd cried the night she'd found out about Maddison. It was not only tears that had kept her awake that night as her mind churned over the possibility of hurting Horatio in an act of revenge. She had wanted him to feel the pain that he alone had caused with his dishonesty.

If she were being honest with herself, she had only agreed to a date with Rick Stettler to wound Horatio. She'd made it obvious as she left the building with the IAB sergeant as to what she was doing. The look on Horatio's face as he watched her leave the building with a man he had a great deal of animosity for had given her a momentary feeling of satisfaction. Perhaps now he would understand how his actions and dishonesty had hurt her.

Against her better judgment, Yelina had found herself growing emotionally attached to Rick to the point that he would often spend the night at her house. Ray Jr seemed to have no issue with him being there, although she'd felt guilty when her son questioned why his uncle no longer visited on a regular basis.

After slamming her car door shut, Yelina stalked into her kitchen and opened a bottle of wine, jumping at the sound of Rick's voice in the doorway.

"You're back late. I thought your flight came in at midday?" he said, pouring himself a glass of wine and giving the top of her head a kiss. "Everything ok?"

Did she really want to get into another disagreement about Horatio with him?

Even though her intention had been to ostracise him, it seemed as if Horatio were the third person in her relationship with Rick. Almost all their arguments would lead back to him.

"I went to the hospital to see Horatio."

She felt Rick flinch imperceptibly at the mention of his adversary's name.

"Maybe someone finally knocked some sense into him."

The words were out of Rick's mouth before he'd even had time to consider what he was saying. He seemed to realise that his words had angered her as he attempted to apologise.

"I'm sorry, Yelina. I didn't mean that."

His placating words seemed to have little effect on her.

"Yes, you did. You've never liked him."

Rick ran a hand through his hair, hoping that the marks on his knuckles wouldn't show as he chose his next words carefully. One step in the wrong direction and things would fall apart quickly. He was walking a fine line already.

"Ok, I admit that I think Horatio's a pig-headed, self-righteous, arrogant pain in the ass. I've never liked him and I'm pretty sure he's never liked me, but that doesn't mean I would ever want him to come to any real harm."

Yelina didn't look convinced. She continued to stare at her lover, assessing visually as to whether he was hiding something from her. She had wasted too much of her life on deceitful men.

"Are you involving yourself in the investigation?" she asked him, knowing that IAB would be involved at some point. A serious assault on a police officer would always be investigated internally by the department. The Chief would want answers as to what had happened.

Of course, he was involved in the investigation into what had happened. He needed to make sure that his own tracks were covered. No one could find out what he was doing, it would blow his carefully laid plans out of the water. Horatio's team were more than competent and some of the best criminalists in the country, they would find out sooner or later that not everything was always as it seemed.

"It's protocol to investigate what happened internally. We have to make sure that no one was at fault for what happened," he told her before trying to change the subject. "Grab a shower and I'll take you out for dinner."

Yelina gave him one final look, feeling as if Rick were keeping something from her. Maybe she was tired after a long and stressful day. Her paranoid and overworked mind creating an issue where there was none. A hot shower and some good food would make everything seem better in the morning.

* * *

 _Things at home had been tough recently. Their father came home loaded most evenings, focusing his anger on his wife and eldest son. It didn't matter what they did, he would always target them for some unseen transgression or another._

 _He was getting bigger now and ever since his twelfth birthday he had grown steadily taller and stronger. Soon there would come a time when he would be able to fight back against his father and that day couldn't come soon enough. He would show the drunken old man that he couldn't push them around any longer._

 _They hadn't seen the man for the past few days and no doubt he was on a bender somewhere. It had meant that he had been able to get out of the house for a few hours without worrying about his mother or Ray._

 _When things were tough and he needed to think, he took himself to the one place that always felt safe to him – the basketball court. He could spend hours just shooting hoops and working through things in his mind._

 _Sometimes other kids would walk onto the court and ask if he wanted a pick-up game. He would give them a fierce glare and stare at them until they left him alone. He was never very good company anyway and he needed time to himself to think._

 _He was just about to line another three-pointer up when a sniffling noise caught him off guard. He looked round testily at whoever had disturbed him mid-shot. His eyes widened when he saw his younger brother standing in the corner of the court, his nose bloodied and tears streaming down his face._

 _"_ _Ray, are you ok?" he asked, walking toward his kid brother. "What happened?"_

 _His first thought had been that his father had returned home unexpectedly. He would always take the punishment that was meant for Ray. His job was to protect his younger sibling._

 _Nine-year-old Ray Caine raised his eyes to look at his brother. "I didn't mean for it to happen, Horatio. They said that I had to do it if I wanted to be part of their gang."_

 _He felt his heart sink. What had his brother got himself mixed up in?_

 _"_ _What did they make you do?"_

 _Ray tried to sniff and wipe the tears from his face. "They said I had to punch Jimmy Smith in the face."_

 _Of all the stupid things Ray could have done!_

 _Jimmy Smith was the biggest and meanest kid at their school. His reputation for beating weaker classmates into a pulp was well-known. What the hell did Ray think he was doing messing with a kid like Jimmy?_

 _"_ _Did he do this to you?" he asked, gently raising Ray's face by his chin._

 _"_ _Yeah," Ray replied as his bottom lip wobbled. "He said it was just the start. He said he was going to kill me."_

 _He pulled his younger brother in for a hug. "Don't worry," he reassured him. "I'll take care of Jimmy Smith. Don't get in with a bunch of punks, they're no good for you, you hear?"_

 _He was the older brother, it was up to him to keep Ray out of trouble._

Calleigh watched him sleep, noticing how a frown marred his features every so often. She worried at what was going through his mind. Was he having flashbacks of the attack?

She'd watched as the effects of the medication combined with his injuries had caused him to drift in and out of consciousness. The medical staff hadn't seemed too concerned as they came to check on him shortly after he'd closed his eyes and insisted that she didn't need to stay with him.

The truth was that he was vulnerable at the moment and she'd already failed to protect him once. She would stand guard over him until he was completely recovered if she had to. The guilt at leaving him injured and alone still ate away at her. His current predicament was her fault.

"Urgh," Horatio groaned, raising a hand to his face.

"You're awake," she said, gently guiding his hand back down to the bed.

"I wish I wasn't."

His response caught her by surprise. Horatio Caine was as tough as they came. He would never admit to any sort of weakness. He certainly wasn't the kind of man who ever admitted he was in pain. Horatio was the type of man who could be so infuriatingly stubborn that it bordered on stupidity at times.

"Are you in pain?" she asked, tenderly stroking an errant strand of hair from his forehead.

He nodded his head, almost instantly regretting it. Calleigh had to stop herself from blushing as she heard him curse.

The desperate look in his eyes made her insides clench painfully.

"They've hurt me, Calleigh."

She wanted to kiss him and tell him that everything would be alright. Here was a man who was always strong for others, taking on their pain and suffering so that they didn't have to. Perhaps it was the medication or the head injury, but Horatio was openly admitting to her that he wasn't ok.

A part of her wanted to declare right there and then as to how she truly felt about him, to tell the whole world that she had feelings that went far beyond that of a close work colleague. She realised now just how close she had come to losing him.

Perhaps his uncertainty was exacerbated by the fact that whoever had hurt him was still out there somewhere. Maybe what he needed right now was for his team to do what they did best – solve the case.

"Can you remember what any of your attackers looked like?"

She watched as his uninjured eye moved from left to right. She could tell by the clenching of his fist and the tightening of his jaw that he was willing himself to remember what had happened.

After some time, he finally let out a frustrated breath and shook his head.

"It's all just a blur. Why can't I remember?"

"Maybe your mind is blocking it out," Calleigh responded, an idea taking root in her mind. "How about when I come in tomorrow I bring some mugshots and see if anything jogs your memory?"

Her heart ached for him. He looked so despondent, disappointed that he couldn't remember any pertinent information that would help bring his attackers to justice.

He had failed to keep his brother safe and now he was failing Yelina and Ray Jr too.

"Calleigh, promise me that you'll keep Yelina and Ray Jr safe?"

She felt an uncharacteristic twinge of jealousy grip at her innards at the sound of Yelina's name.

"This has something to do with Ray. Make sure that they don't go after her next."

His words were beginning to slur as his eyes slid shut.

Despite his pleading words causing her pain, she would do anything he asked.

"I promise, Horatio. We'll make sure they stay safe."


	9. Chapter 9

"Thank you for all coming in early this morning," Calleigh said, addressing the group as they filtered into Horatio's office.

It had been a sleepless night as her wearied mind turned thoughts over and over. There was something the team were missing and the more she thought about it, the more she'd convinced herself that the thugs who attacked Horatio had help from someone who knew him.

Speed, Eric, Alexx and Frank were the only people Calleigh knew she could trust at this point. Each of them had a close and personal relationship with Horatio and had already proved their loyalty to him.

Although not one to say much, Speed had worked with Horatio for several years. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that both men were the strong and silent type that drew them together and made them work so well. The way that they could effortlessly – and almost silently – work a crime scene and yet still instinctively know what the other was thinking made them a highly effective partnership.

Eric adored Horatio. Anyone who saw the two of them together would be able to spot how the younger man almost hero-worshipped the lieutenant. Eric had told her once how the two of them had met and how Horatio had encouraged him to go back to school after they'd hauled a sunken car out of the river.

Eric had recalled how fascinated he was by how Horatio had processed the car after it had been dragged to dry land and had known then that towing and hauling cars wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Several more times they had crossed paths at crime scenes, it had made Eric smile to recall the time he gave the lieutenant a pair of sunglasses to deal with the harsh rays of the Miami sun – the sunglasses that seemed to be an almost permanent fixture on Horatio's face these days.

Alexx had known Horatio far longer than anyone else in the team had and seemed to have an emotional hold on him that no one else could claim to. Alexx was not one to be cowed by his piercing glare or his position of authority within the department. She could match wits with him while also taking him to task when needed.

Despite being close in age, the relationship Alexx had with Horatio was an almost maternal in nature. Alexx had told her once that Horatio had lost his mother at an early age and perhaps the relationship between the doctor and the lieutenant had been born of his need for a nurturing female figure in his life. Alexx had an uncanny way of sensing vulnerability in people and had seen beneath Horatio's outwardly self-sufficient exterior and known that he needed someone like her in his life.

"Frank sends his apologies," Calleigh said as everyone took a seat. The only one left being behind Horatio's desk.

The empty chair seemed to mock her, telling her she didn't deserve to call herself the leader of the team in Horatio's absence. She put those thoughts from her mind as she sat down, looking at the papers on the desk for a moment before speaking again.

"As you know, we're pretty much at a dead end with Horatio's case unless he can give us an ID on the people who attacked him. So – "

"No way are we dropping the case!"

Eric's outburst was not surprising considering how the young man felt about their leader. His fiery temper could get the better of him at times and Eric was nothing if not loyal when it came to his family.

As much as their personalities and histories differed, all of them were family. When one of their own was hurt, they all took it personally.

Calleigh waited a moment or two for Eric's ire to dampen before continuing.

"The Chief says that we can't devote any more resources or manpower to the investigation for the time being."

"This is bullshit," Speed huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That being said," Calleigh continued, "Between the four of us and Frank, we're very much keeping the case open. I have a feeling that someone who knew Horatio well might have had something to do with what happened."

"Someone in the department?" Alexx asked.

"Frank aside, the only people I trust right now are standing in this room. I want you all to pick up whatever cases you were working on before this happened and act like Horatio's case is closed for now. Keep your ears and eyes open and let me know if anything doesn't seem right to you."

"So that's it? We just go back to work and act like everything is normal?" Eric said, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"For now, yes. Hopefully whoever set Horatio up will let their guard down if they think we've given up on finding his attackers.

"Horatio wouldn't give up," Eric snapped. "He'd hunt people down until he got to the truth!"

Calleigh had to force herself to keep calm, even though she had wanted to scream that she cared for Horatio in a way that none of them could ever come close to.

She took a deep breath before responding. "Horatio isn't here right now and besides, this has something to do with his brother. Horatio is worried that whoever attacked them might come after Yelina and her son too. This is bigger than just us and I made a promise to Horatio that we would keep them safe, but I can't do that unless you all help me and do as I ask."

She could see the mental cogs whirring as Eric frowned, holding his hands up in defeat. "You're right, Cal. I just hate not being able to go into bat for H, you know? I feel like we're letting him down somehow."

"I know, Eric. Believe me, I know." Calleigh replied as she stood, signalling an end to the one of the most difficult conversations she'd ever had with her colleagues.

Couldn't they see that she'd had no choice?

Watching sadly as Eric and Speed left the room, Calleigh couldn't fail to see the small shake of Speed's head as the two men headed down the stairs and back towards the lab.

"How did it go yesterday?"

She'd been so caught up in her own feelings that she'd failed to register that Alexx was still in the room.

Receiving no response to her question, Alexx tried again. "Did you take my advice and go to the hospital yesterday, sugar?"

Calleigh wasn't sure that she wanted to have this conversation right now. Her tired mind had simply been working too hard these past few days. She wasn't even sure herself as to what was going on when it came to her relationship with Horatio.

Alexx felt disquieted by the lack of response. "He's ok, isn't he?"

"A group of animals jumped him and cracked his head open. Of course he's not ok!"

Calleigh took several deep breaths, looking at Alexx apologetically.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

Alexx moved toward her and placed her hands on Calleigh's arms, giving them a reassuring squeeze.

"How are you holding up?"

Calleigh sniffed at the tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I'm not the one who's lying in a hospital at the moment."

"Horatio's strong, he'll be fine in no time at all," Alexx tried to reassure her.

Calleigh flinched. "He's not fine, Alexx. Not by a long shot."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it's the medication or the concussion, but this has shaken him up more than people realise. The whole 'Ray' angle has really hit him hard. I've never seen him this emotionally vulnerable, Alexx. It scares me."

The doctor knew exactly what she meant.

The lieutenant had always built emotional walls around himself for as long as she'd known him. It had taken years of patience to remove them, brick by painful brick, until some of the vulnerability below was unearthed.

The first time Horatio had agreed to dinner at her home, the wistful look in his eyes as he'd enjoyed a family meal had struck painfully at Alexx's heart. She had known that his brother and Yelina were married and had a young son, but Horatio had placed distance between them since they'd married, for reasons that Alexx had not understood at the time.

She'd knocked on the door of his office, dismayed to find him still signing reports and vacation requests for the upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations.

"I hope you're signing a vacation request for yourself, sugar."

He'd been so immersed in the paperwork that his head shot up at the sound of her voice. He shook his head in response to her question.

"Someone needs to keep this place running during the holidays. Everyone should be spending time with their families."

"What about you?"

The question seemed to catch Horatio off guard. "What about me?"

"Who are you spending Thanksgiving with?"

Alexx felt a sharp stab of pain at the look in his eyes.

"AFIS, CODIS and the GCMS?" Horatio offered hopefully, avoiding eye contact with her.

She'd strode toward his desk, placing her hand on the paperwork in front of him.

"Change of plans. You're spending it with me."

Horatio had tried to pull the paperwork from under her hand.

"Alexx, you have a family. You should be spending the holidays with them."

She could be as belligerent and bull-headed as he was if she needed to be, but she wasn't going to leave his office until he agreed to spend Thanksgiving with her. Grabbing a fresh vacation request form from his tray, she'd slammed it down in front of him, crossing her arms and glaring at him until he finally relented.

"Ok, you win," he said as he signed the request form and held it up to her. "Can I finish these reports now?"

He'd knocked on her door at exactly 4pm, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bunch of flowers in the other. It had made Alexx smile to see him look distinctly uncomfortable standing on her doorstep. She'd played with the idea of toying with him a little longer until the thought crossed her mind that he might suddenly bolt and head back to his car.

She'd opened the door and enveloped him in a tight hug. "Punctual as usual, I see. I'm so glad you could make it."

Horatio smiled apologetically at her. "You know me, tardiness is the eighth deadly sin in my book. Besides, your orders were very clear."

Horatio arched an eyebrow as he'd looked at her, a mock grimace on his face.

She had made it clear that not showing up for dinner would result in a world of pain and discomfort that would last several weeks, if not months. She'd threatened to break down his door and drag him by the nose to her house if needs be.

"I, uh," Horatio stuttered, looking at his hands and handing the wine and flowers to her. "I brought these as a thank you."

It was almost fun watching the self-assured and confident lieutenant squirm just a little.

So, there was a chink in his armour if only one looked hard enough for it!

Taking the gifts from him, she'd motioned Horatio into her house and introduced the lieutenant to her husband Henry and then her children Bryan and Janey.

"It's a pleasure to meet you at last," Henry had said as he shook Horatio's hand. "I've heard a lot about you. Alexx talks about you a great deal."

Alexx didn't miss the flush of crimson that had rushed to Horatio's cheeks.

"None of it good, I'm sure."

"Nonsense. All I hear is good things about you, Lieutenant."

Horatio squirmed once more, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with any type of praise. "Please, call me Horatio."

Henry smiled and patted Horatio on the shoulder. "As long as you call me Henry."

It had warmed Alexx's heart to see Horatio interact with her children. He would make a fine father one day, that was for sure.

Bryan had been particularly enamoured with him as Horatio patiently taught him how to spin his new basketball on one finger. Didn't Horatio know the positive effect he had on so many people?

Alexx had joined Horatio on the sofa as Henry and the children washed the dishes after dinner. She felt bad for him as he held a cup of coffee and looking sightlessly out of the window.

"When was the last time you spent Thanksgiving with anyone, Horatio?"

She could see the sad smile on his face, even though he continued to look out of the window.

"It's been a while," he'd said sadly. "When things got serious between Yelina and Ray, it didn't seem right to intrude on them.

She could tell by the way he spoke that things were likely a lot more complicated than that. Now wasn't the time to push Horatio on it. After all, she'd bullied him into coming here today. There would only be so much he would tolerate from her without retreating into himself completely.

"How are things with you and Ray?"

She didn't miss the way he'd flinched at the mention of his brother's name.

"Alexx, I'd rather not talk about that if you don't mind." The pleading look in his eyes told her that he couldn't face talking about the subject right now.

She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. "Maybe you'll wanna talk about it one day."

"Not today, Alexx. Please, not today."


	10. Chapter 10

He'd been watching his colleague so intently that he'd failed to hear Yelina walk up beside him.

"Something caught your eye, Frank?" she asked, sitting down at the desk opposite his.

He reluctantly turned toward her, scowling, causing Yelina to smile inwardly. Frank was often gruff and blunt, but he could be even worse when something was bugging him.

"You've noticed it to, huh?" Yelina said, motioning her head toward their colleague and fellow detective, John Hagen.

The comment seemed to catch Frank by surprise, the shock must have registered on his face.

Calleigh had asked him to keep an eye out for any unusual activity in the squad room, but to do so surreptitiously. He was doing a bang-up job so far if Yelina's response was anything to go by.

"I'm not sure what you mean." Frank said, fiddling with the reports on his desk.

Yelina gave her colleague a knowing look. "He's hardly been here the past few days. I asked him for an update on the Johnson case and he looked at me like he'd seen a ghost. Something's not right with John."

Yelina's words confirmed Frank's suspicions that something was up with Hagen. The man had been distracted at best these past few days.

Yesterday, he'd made his way over to Hagen's desk to find the man staring sightlessly out of the squad room window, his phone held in one hand. He'd coughed loudly to get Hagen's attention and hadn't missed the way that the man had quickly put his phone in the breast pocket of his jacket.

"Everything ok, John?" he'd asked.

John had responded by nodding his head, grabbing his keys and locking the drawer of his desk before leaving the room.

"There's something I need to do," John had said. "Can you cover for me for a couple of hours?"

He hadn't had time to respond before Hagen had disappeared.

* * *

 _"_ _No!"_

 _"_ _What do you mean, no?" Ray shouted at his older brother. "What makes you think you get a say in what I do?"_

 _"_ _You're not going to do this. You have a wife and a son. You have a responsibility to them!"_

 _Ray huffed in displeasure at the man who had never let him forget that he would always be the reckless one, the younger sibling who constantly needed looking after._

 _Couldn't Horatio see that he was a man in his own right now?_

 _"_ _Don't lecture me, Horatio. I'm not a kid anymore!"_

 _"_ _No, you're a husband and a father. You're going to throw all of that away and because of what?"_

 _How could he make Horatio see that he wanted to move forward with his own career? He was sick and tired of being the younger and less successful Caine brother. He couldn't deny that Horatio had worked hard to get where he was. Didn't he deserve a chance at being a success too?_

 _"_ _I'm going undercover in Narcotics whether you like it or not. So, get used to it."_

 _Finally, Horatio lost his temper with his wayward younger brother. "You rush headlong into these stupid situations and expect me to clear up the mess that you've made. I won't do it this time, brother. If you do this, you're on your own."_

 _"_ _Maybe you should get a life of your own and stop interfering in mine!" Ray shot back, stalking closer toward his brother._

 _"Watch yourself_ _, Ray," Horatio warned him, his voice a low growl._

 _"_ _This has nothing to do with me going undercover and everything to do with the fact that Yelina chose me. You just can't accept the fact I'm the one she married."_

 _It took all of Horatio's self-control not to launch himself at Ray and smack the smart mouth straight out of him, yet that would have made him no better than their father._

 _"_ _You should go now." Balling his hands into fists, he turned his back on Ray until he finally heard his office door slam shut._

* * *

A soft knock at the door woke Horatio from the unpleasant dream he'd been having. His memories were still so mixed up and yet Ray had featured prominently in many of them these past few days. His relationship with his brother had always been complicated and yet now he would never have a chance to make right some of the mistakes he'd made with him.

A smile pulled on the damaged muscles in his face and yet he accepted the momentary discomfort it caused as Calleigh walked in. Her smile lit up the room and warmed him with its glow.

"I brought you a little something," she said, holding up the paper bag. "I managed to sneak in some contraband, if you're interested?"

He gave her a look of mock disappointment. "You're an officer of the law, Miss Duquesne. Smuggling banned goods is frowned upon, you know." Horatio responded, eyeing the bag up.

"So, you don't want any of this?" Calleigh asked, removing the chocolate muffin from the bag. She smiled as she heard his stomach rumble in response. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to eat anything or keep it down for longer than a couple of hours.

Reading the conflicted emotions running across his face, Calleigh took a plastic knife from the bag and began cutting the muffin into small sections, knowing that the swelling to Horatio's face and jaw would make eating painful. She watched him slowly chew the chocolate treat and smiled as he swallowed it.

"Is that coffee I smell, too?" Horatio asked hopefully. The hospital staff had flat-out refused to allow him any since he'd been brought in a few days ago. The pain from his injuries and being cut off from his favourite beverage had no doubt made him a less than an ideal patient recently.

Calleigh smiled conspiratorally as she lifted two takeaway cups from the bag, handing one to Horatio. She giggled as she watched his face change from one of absolute delight to one of horror.

"Urgh, that's decaf," he said disgustedly, handing the cup back to her. "I am _not_ drinking that!"

"It's that or nothing, I'm afraid. The doctor said that you're not allowed any caffeine just yet. He said it'll make the headaches worse." She watched with some amusement as Horatio reluctantly held his hand out for the coffee. "How is your head, by the way?"

"Its still feels like someone's been playing football with it."

"Have you remembered anything else about the attack?"

She watched helplessly as Horatio willed himself to try to remember anything about the night he'd been attacked.

"Still nothing," he said finally, sounding defeated. "It's all just a jumbled mess. I'm a terrible witness, huh?"

They sat in silence for a number of moments.

"How are things at the lab?" Horatio asked, wanting to take his mind off of his unpleasant dreams. "Any interesting cases come in?"

"You don't need to worry about that. Everything at the lab is fine. People are just concerned about you." Calleigh saw the guilty look on his face. "Everyone just wants to get the animals who did this to you."

Horatio sighed. "And me not remembering isn't helping, is it?"

Calleigh took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I brought some mugshots with me. You wanna look through them and see if anything jogs your memory?"

He gave her a sad smile, not holding out much hope that anyone would look familiar to him. "Sure, why not?"

After an hour spent pouring over mugshots, Horatio handed the book back to Calleigh, his eyes dulled and his expression hopeless.

"Nothing," he sighed in frustration. "Not one person looks familiar to me."

"It's ok – "

"No, it's not! They're still out there!"

The vehemence in Horatio's voice took Calleigh by surprise. She had always seen him have such a tight control over his emotions. The version of Horatio who had woken up in hospital several days ago was much more emotionally vulnerable than the one she remembered.

"Maybe you should go," he said quietly, his head hung low.

"I'm not leaving you here like this, Horatio. You need a friend right now."

The way that he flinched at her words caught her unawares.

"I'm not good company to be around at the moment."

"Well, tough," Calleigh responded, standing her ground. "I didn't trust my gut the other day and look where that got us. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."

"And what's your gut telling you now?"

"That I'm exactly where I need to be. You're not going to frighten me away, Horatio Caine. You can shout at me all you want but I'm stuck to you like glue. So, you better get used to it because we're in this together." Noticing that he didn't look entirely convinced, she tried again. "You wouldn't want to see this gentle Southern gal's fiery temper, would you?"

He couldn't help but feel momentarily buoyed by her enthusiasm. Calleigh had been the one person to wheedle her way into his affections after Yelina had married Ray. He had tried so hard to resist those Southern charms of hers, having had his heart broken and his affections toyed with by Yelina.

 _Once bitten, twice shy –_ wasn't that what they used to say?

There had always been a strong attraction between he and Yelina, even when Ray beat him to the punch in asking the beautiful Columbian detective out on a date. There had been several cases he and Yelina had worked on before Ray came into the picture and Horatio had later kicked himself for not working up the courage to ask her out when he had the chance.

He cursed his own self-sacrificing nature sometimes. Having a violent, alcoholic father and a strict Catholic upbringing meant that his life was centred on control, discipline, and restraint. The needs and wants of others would always come before his own.

Once he'd realised that things were getting serious between Ray and Yelina, he'd stepped aside willingly, albeit with a heavy heart and a sense of regret. There were still unexplored feelings between he and Yelina and it didn't seem fair to complicate matters by being so close by. He had taken a step back and distanced himself from them both, even though it pained him to do so.

He'd tried so hard not to let Calleigh get too close, yet he had failed miserably. He had assumed that their flirtatious repartee would be nothing more than harmless banter between colleagues, something that had started during their time together in Louisiana and had remained when she joined his team in Miami.

Day by day and little by little, she had broken through the emotional armour he clothed himself in until she finally made inroads into his heart. It had taken time, but he had found himself falling in love with her.

She'd said that he needed a friend right now and those words had struck painfully at his heart. Was that all she truly saw him as – a friend?

There was still so much that didn't make sense to him. There were so many gaps in his memory that he couldn't fill and yet one thing had remained constant – Calleigh had refused to let him go through this alone.

His world was spinning dangerously on its axis and the only thing he could hold into was her.

"Indeed not, ma'am," Horatio responded, allowing his emotional shields to drop momentarily and let someone else be strong for him, for once.


	11. Chapter 11

Rick Stetler sat in his office, turning the coffee cup and letting his thoughts drift away from the task at hand.

This morning's meeting with the Chief had been stressful and it had been all he could do to keep his own emotions under control. If he didn't learn to keep a tight lid on them soon, it would be all too clear to anyone who bothered to look closely enough that something wasn't right.

It hadn't helped that he'd barely slept last night and had spent the most of it on Yelina's couch. Dinner had been pleasant enough, and yet both had been pensive, their conversation never veering from that of polite yet disinterested.

Feeling the tension build on the silent drive back home, Rick had decided to take control of what was rapidly threatening to become an explosive situation between the two of them. Yelina had a fiery temper and it wouldn't take much more of the strained silence to cause both of them to explode.

He'd advanced on her as soon as she'd shut the front door, making his amorous intentions clear as he backed her up against the nearest wall. He felt her freeze momentarily before she met his passion with her own.

His hand slid under her blouse and the feel of her smooth skin sent his senses into overdrive. He wanted her. No, he needed her, after the week from hell. He had to get the thoughts and images out of his mind before they drove him crazy.

He'd felt his fervent assault on her body halted by one of Yelina's hands pushing him away from her.

"Rick, stop," she'd said breathlessly.

It was all he could do not to let his pent-up frustration spill over into righteous anger.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted this," he'd said, walking toward her again.

Yelina took another step back. "Not tonight. Please, it's been a long day."

The mere insinuation of Horatio had caused Rick to lose hold of his already frayed temper.

"It's him, isn't it?" Rick bellowed, running a hand roughly through his hair. "It's always him!"

"This isn't about Horatio!" Yelina shot back, feeling her own anger surge.

"It's always about him!"

"What is your problem with him anyway – do you feel threatened by him, is that what it is?"

She was goading him, yet he couldn't stop himself from stalking toward her menacingly, raising his fist.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of, Yelina. Don't push me," he'd warned, his voice dangerously low.

"At least he doesn't threaten women."

It had been the final straw. His fist shot out, making contact with the wall beside Yelina's head, leaving a significant hole in the plasterboard.

Hanging his head in shame, he'd heard her stalk upstairs and slam shut her bedroom door.

The chirping of his cell phone brought Rick back to the present as he read the incoming message:

 _We need to meet._

* * *

"Hey, Speed," Eric said by way of greeting, shrugging his lab coat on and making his way over to the evidence table. "How's the jigsaw going?"

Tim Speedle gave his colleague a sour look. Not only had Calleigh told them to drop the case into Horatio's attack, he'd been tasked with sifting through hundreds of pages of shredded documents and putting them back into their original form. It had been slow going all morning.

"Well, add in a little rectal surgery and I'm pretty sure this will turn out to be my best day ever."

Eric raised an eyebrow, letting the comment slide, knowing that Speed wasn't renowned for his sunny disposition.

"What have you been up to?" Speed asked, his eyes not veering from the painstaking task in front of him.

"Finishing up on the blood work from the Davis case," Eric responded. "I was thinking of swinging by the hospital later to check on H."

"I think Calleigh's got that well covered," Speed said, still concentrating on the ribbons of paper laid out over the evidence table.

"Meaning?"

Speed put his magnifying glass down and looked at his colleague. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed it?"

"Noticed what?"

Speed let out a sigh. "She's been spending an awful lot of time at the hospital with him lately."

"She's been trying to find out who attacked him, for God's sake – or have you forgotten that?" Eric responded angrily.

Speed willed himself to be patient. "Of course I haven't. We all want to get the bastards who did this to H."

"Then what's your problem with Calleigh?"

"I don't have a problem with Calleigh," Speed said, looking at Eric directly. "She's taking this all a little too hard, don't you think?"

"She and H are close," Eric replied, feeling as if he should stick up for Calleigh in her absence.

"How close?" Speed shot back.

 _That_ was the pertinent question.

* * *

 _"_ _What took you so long?"_

 _"_ _Calm down. I got here as fast as I could. What's so urgent anyway?"_

 _"_ _I'm not sure how much longer I can do this."_

 _"_ _Don't start getting twitchy on me now. I need you with me on this."_

 _"_ _This is too much. This isn't what I signed up for. I want out."_

 _"_ _It's too late for that. You're in this just as much as I am. If I go down, I'm taking you with me."_

* * *

"Hagen?"

"Hey, Hagen?"

He flinched as he felt Frank's hand on his shoulder.

"What?" he asked testily, shrugging the hand away.

"Any chance you're gonna type up the witness reports any time soon?"

John Hagen rubbed a weary hand over his face. The fatigue he felt seemed to pour off him in waves. Too many sleepless nights had taken their toll. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep up the pretence that he was fine. The images, oh God, those horrible images kept haunting him. Each time he closed his eyes he saw them, the guilt eating away at him like a cancer.

"What's the hurry?" John finally replied. "There's plenty of time to get it done."

"Not if you keep staring into space for the whole shift," Frank said, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Get on with it."

He ignored his colleague with a dismissive wave of the hand as he went in search of coffee, feeling the walls of the squad room close in around him.

* * *

 _He'd found her sitting on the steps outside the police department, tears running down her face._

 _"_ _Yelina, are you ok?" Horatio asked, sitting down beside her. "What is it?" he asked, lifting her chin gently to look at her face._

 _She shook her head, wiping away the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. "I'm ok," she insisted._

 _"_ _You don't look ok," he replied, gently taking her hands in his own. "Has something happened to Ray?"_

 _He felt the blood drain from his face at the thought of his brother. Had he been killed in a drug bust?_

 _"_ _He's not…" he began, unable to finish the sentence. "He hasn't – "_

 _Yelina seemed to pick up on his anxiety. "No, he's not."_

 _He sighed heavily, the relief washing over him in until another dark thought came to mind. "Ray Jr's ok, isn't he?"_

 _"_ _He's fine."_

 _"_ _Then why are you sitting out here so upset?"_

 _He sat and watched her, wincing at the pained expression that crossed her face. "Ray's going undercover on a case. We had a huge argument about it."_

 _He allowed her to continue at her own pace, saying nothing as he continued to hold her hands._

 _"_ _Sometimes…. Sometimes I wish – "_

 _She didn't finish that statement, but she was looking at him so intently. Her eyes were boring into him, her face moving closer to his…_

 _His phone rang and seemed to bring the pair of them back to the present as the reality of what had almost happened dawned on them both. Breaking contact with her, he reached for his cell phone and answered it._

 _"Horatio."_

 _His intense blue eyes held her gaze as he spoke, only breaking away as he slipped his cell phone shut. "I'm on my way."_

* * *

A soft knocking at the door brought Horatio back to the present.

"Hey there," Calleigh's soft voice crooned as she let herself into the room. "How are you feeling today?"

Horatio grimaced, trying to find a more comfortable position. "It still hurts like hell any time I try to move," he admitted quietly.

Despite his pleading with the medical staff, they had refused to cut back on the narcotics just yet. The doctor had warned him he would be considerably more uncomfortable without it and had insisted the best thing would be to rest and relax if he wanted to get out of his medical prison any time soon.

He wasn't a man to sit around and do nothing and he'd already been out of action too long for his own liking. He needed answers and he wasn't going to get them lying flat on his back in a hospital bed.

Calleigh seemed to pick up on his frustration and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "It must be driving you nuts being stuck in here. Are you behaving for the doctor and nurses?"

Her tone was playful, yet the arch of her eyebrow told Horatio that he wouldn't be able to brush her off with a white lie or a mistruth.

"Define 'behaving'," he replied sardonically.

She said nothing except to smile at him and it made Horatio's heart rate increase – a fact that was quickly picked up by the monitors beside his bed. The intensified beeping caused Calleigh to break contact with him, her surprise evident as her eyes widened in shock.

They sat quietly for several moments, neither of them sure what to say next.

"What's going on at the lab?" Horatio asked, finally breaking the silence.

It took Calleigh a moment to respond, almost as if she were shaking off a memory from the past. "There's plenty going on at the moment – "

Calleigh stopped, unsure if she should continue.

"And?" Horatio persisted, knowing Calleigh was keeping something from him.

"The Chief told us to put your case on the back burner for now." She saw the look on his face and held a hand up to stop him from interjecting. "We're not going to drop it, Horatio. I won't stop until I find out who did this to you, I promise you that."

"It's not me I'm worried about," Horatio replied, wincing as he tried to reposition himself. "They'll go after Yelina and her son. I can't lose them too."

The look of panic on Horatio's face told Calleigh all that she needed to know – that Yelina still had a hold on his heart. The snide voice in her head telling her that he would never feel the same way about her as he did the Columbian detective.

Her mind brought back memories of that night when…

 _Don't go there!_ Calleigh told herself, willing her body not betray her with any outward sign of emotion.

She refused to look him in the eye. She couldn't bear to see him thinking about another woman – a woman who wasn't her.

Minutes passed as they both sat in silence. The gentle beeping of the machines the only noise in the room.

Calleigh forced those thoughts to the back of her mind. It was only then that her ears picked up on the increased noises from the monitors beside Horatio's bed. She gasped softly as she saw his face screwed up in pain and the sweat beading on his forehead, his eyes closed tightly.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Only later would she castigate herself for asking such a stupid question – of course he wasn't ok.

Horatio's uninjured hand shot to his back suddenly as he let out a deep groan, forcing his head further back into the pillows. "I really don't feel good," he gasped through clenched teeth.

Hitting the call button quickly, Calleigh ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe away the obvious discomfort he was in. "Just hang on, they'll be here in a minute."

Horatio opened his eyes briefly to look at her. "Calleigh…." He took several deep breaths, "I have to – "

"Shhh," she said, running her hand through his hair again. "Tell me later."

Horatio shook his head. "I need to… You should know – "

His next words were cut off by the doctor entering the room. "Let's see what's going on here, shall we?" he said as he approached the monitors, frowning as he read the data. "Where is the worst of the pain, Lieutenant?" the doctor asked, placing a hand on Horatio's forehead and already feeling the heat emanating from it.

"My…back," Horatio gasped, screwing his eyes shut once more.

Nodding, the doctor glanced down at the bag attached to the side of the bed that monitored his patient's urine output and found it contaminated with blood.

Calleigh saw the look on the doctor's face and immediately asked, "What's wrong?" She watched them kick the brake off the bed as the nurses prepared to move their patient from the room.

"We're taking the lieutenant for some more scans, but it looks like a problem with one of his kidneys judging by the blood in his urine."

"He'll be alright though?" Calleigh asked, fearing the worst.

The doctor didn't immediately reply. "He's had significant blunt force trauma to his back and torso. It could be a minor bleed or a sign of something a bit more serious."

"How much more serious?" Calleigh asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Let's not worry about that until we get the results of the scan, ok?"

She watched as they wheeled the bed out of the room, her mind already churning out several worst-case scenarios.


	12. Chapter 12

Rick sighed as he pushed shut the door of Yelina's house, watching as Ray Jr dumped his school bag in the hallway and made his way quickly to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

He hadn't meant to lose his temper with the boy. It would only be a matter of time before word would get back to Yelina as to what had transpired in the car.

The day had already been difficult, from his meeting with the Chief to the unpleasant and unexpected trip out of the office later that morning. Covering his tracks was proving harder each day, especially with the sideways glances and knowing looks Horatio's team of CSIs were giving him each time he walked the corridors of the building.

It was his business to know what was going on in the lab, especially with Horatio out of the picture for now. He had hoped that it would have made his task easier without the lieutenant being there, yet he felt himself grow increasingly paranoid every time he stalked the halls.

He hadn't expected the call from Yelina, their conversation had been awkward and stilted.

"Rick, I'm stuck at PD on a case. Can you pick Ray Jr up from school for me please?"

"Sure, what's going on?"

Yelina's response had been too quick for his liking, there was obviously something she wasn't telling him.

"There's been a triple homicide just come in. Normally I'd ask – "

He'd stopped her before she could finish. He already knew what she'd say – Horatio.

"It's fine," he'd snapped. "Tell the school I'll be there as soon as I can."

Already seething from the mere mention of the lieutenant's name, Rick had turned up at the school in a foul mood.

"Where's mom?" Ray Jr had asked, not bothering to greet the man who had dropped everything to pick him up from school.

"She's stuck at work," Rick said, keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the car park and on to the street.

"Can we stop at McDonalds?" the boy asked.

"Maybe next time, son. I have some stuff to do when we get back."

"Uncle Horatio always takes me when he picks me up from school. Then we shoot some hoops in the back yard before he helps me with my homework. Uncle Horatio's great, especially with my chemistry homework."

He'd felt his anger building again and forced himself to remain calm.

"There was this one time when Uncle Horatio and I made a rocket in the back yard with a bottle of Pepsi and some Mentos. Mom almost had a fit when she saw the mess we'd made. Dad was never really interested in cool stuff like Uncle Horatio is. I wanna be like him when I grow up."

The kid had kept on and on about how great the lieutenant was until he was unable to hold himself back any longer.

"Uncle Horatio – "

"For God's sake, shut up!" Rick had bellowed, stunning the young boy into silence.

"You're nothing like him," the boy finally said in a sulky tone. "He never comes around anymore. I wish my mom hadn't chosen you."

"Well, life sucks, kid. You might as well get used to it."

"Uncle Horatio wouldn't say that. He'd – "

"Well, _Uncle_ Horatio isn't here right now," Rick shot back. "So, you're stuck with me."

"I hate you."

"Yeah? Why don't you join the club, kid."

* * *

Calleigh sat nervously in the hospital waiting room, her ears alert to any movement in the hospital corridors that would signal news on Horatio's condition.

It felt like hours since they'd pushed his bed out of the room and taken him away. She hadn't liked the look on the doctor's face as they'd hurried down the corridor with their patient.

"Miss Duquesne?"

Her head shot up instantly, looking intently at the doctor. "How is he, is he ok?"

The doctor took the chair next to her. "We've had the results of the scan and it's picked up a small tear in his left kidney."

"Is that serious?"

"We're hoping that it will slow and then stop on its own. Surgery may be our only option further down the line, but we're hoping it won't come to that."

"How long before you know?" she asked. "He's already climbing the walls wanting to get out of here."

The doctor gave her a sad smile. "An infection has already taken hold in the damaged kidney and so he's going to be pretty out of it until we can get the fever under control. He may be in a for a rough few days."

Her heart sank. Hadn't he suffered enough already?

"Can I see him?"

The doctor motioned for her to follow. "Sure, he's been asking for you since we took him back to his room."

Her heart broke as she saw him lying in the bed, surrounded by wires and sensors. He looked nothing like the bright and vibrant Horatio that she had come to love so much. Sitting by his bedside, she could already feel the heat emanating from him. His eyes were closed and yet she couldn't mistake the pain she saw etched across his face.

His eyes cracked open as he felt the soothing touch of her cool hand on his face.

"Hey there, handsome. How are you feeling?"

His eyes seemed to roll upwards in his head as he fought against the fever. "Calleigh…you're here."

She frowned, "Where else would I be?"

"I thought – " The words were cut off with a gasp of pain as Horatio tried to lift himself up from the bed.

"Whoa there, cowboy. Where do you think you're going?"

She gently pushed him back down to the pillows, making sure that his head was slightly elevated. The sweat was already beading on his forehead. She broke contact with him to get a cool washcloth and was startled by the strength of his grip on her wrist.

"Don't go," he pleaded.

She gently disengaged from his grip, "I'm just getting something to cool you down. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

* * *

 _"_ _Here's the information you wanted." He said, passing the folded papers across to the man sitting the passenger seat._

 _"_ _It's all here?" The man had asked, leafing briefly through the documents. "Everything I asked for?"_

 _He was getting tired of this. "Look, you're going to have to trust me, ok?"_

 _The man laughed humourlessly at that. "Trust needs to be earned, don't you think?"_

* * *

Yelina closed the door quietly, hoping that any evidence of the tears she'd cried in her car had disappeared.

The call from Calleigh had come as a shock. She couldn't mistake the fear in the woman's voice as she relayed the information about Horatio.

His dismissal of her several days ago still stung painfully and it had been the primary reason that she had refused to visit him since. She'd decided to sink herself into her work instead, yet everywhere she looked she was reminded of him.

Meeting Horatio's team at crime scenes, she could see how worried they still were about him. Of course, they were professional, Horatio would have expected no less from them, yet there was something in their demeanour that told of their concern for him.

Several times, his team had stopped halfway through a sentence knowing that the name 'Horatio' was on their lips – 'Horatio would say this', 'Horatio would do that', 'Horatio would ask this…'

He wasn't here, and yet he was all the team could think about. If she were being honest, she felt the same way too.

The interrogation room seemed far too quiet without him. Although he'd never been overtly animated in his grilling of suspects, there mere fact that his presence was missing spoke volumes.

He was no longer walking through the corridors of the police department with her. His presence was missing at crime scenes. His Hummer sat idly in the car park, it's driver no longer a visible presence on the streets of Miami.

Thoughts of him shrouded her like a spectre. He wasn't here and yet, to her, he was everywhere she looked, everywhere she went. As much as she tried to block the thoughts from her mind, he was the only thing she thought about.

* * *

 _"_ _What have we got, Alexx?"_

 _"_ _Gunshot wound to the chest. Looks like a through and through, but I'll know more when I do the post."_

 _He nodded his head before turning his attention to Eric. "I want you and Speed to process the scene. I'll meet you back at the lab later."_

 _His phone chirped. "Yelina, how's – "_

 _"_ _He's dead, Horatio. Oh my god, he's dead."_

 _The phone fell lifelessly from his hand. His worst fears coming true and yet he had been powerless to stop it from happening. He had failed her. He had failed in his promise to his mother that he would keep Ray safe._

"Oh God," Horatio gasped, still gripped by the images in his mind. "Ray…I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

Calleigh's heart broke as she saw the tears pool in eyes clouded by pain and fever. "Shhhh, it's ok."

"I failed you," he sobbed quietly. "I failed you both."

 _He drove as fast he could, not caring that other road users honked their displeasure at his erratic driving. Maybe he was in no condition to drive and yet he couldn't have cared less. All that mattered was getting there as quickly as possible._

 _"_ _Where is he?" he demanded, pushing his way past several morgue technicians._

 _"_ _Lieutenant Caine, he's been taken away already."_

 _"_ _What do you mean?" he asked, confused. "I need to see his body."_

 _"_ _I'm afraid it's too late for that."_

 _He must have sat there for hours, his mind churning over the reasons why he hadn't been able to see his brother's cold and lifeless body. At least with his mother there had been a sense of closure. Despite the savage wounds inflicted on her, he had at least been able to say goodbye to her properly._

 _He looked at Alexx, his eyes still dazed as she pulled him into a hug._

 _"_ _Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."_

 _His first instinct had been to pull away from her, and yet his body craved the simple human contact she was offering. He felt himself sink into her embrace._

 _"_ _He's gone, Alexx."_

 _It was all he could manage to say. Over and over again._

He'd calmed for a while, his body falling into an exhausted slumber for a brief time. Calleigh held his hand, feeling his skin grow hotter as his temperature continued to climb.

She felt utterly helpless.

 _He woke up suddenly, failing to recognise his surroundings momentarily._

 _A movement from the kitchen caught his attention as he pushed back the comforter and rose from the couch he'd just spent the night on._

 _Yelina looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Sorry if I woke you. I couldn't sleep."_

 _It had been a tough night for all three of them – especially Ray Jr._

 _After insisting to Alexx that he would be fine, Horatio had made his way to his brother's house. The thought suddenly hit him that, with Ray gone, he was truly on his own in this life. Not one member of his family remained alive except for him._

 _She'd opened the door before he'd had a chance to knock and found himself momentarily stunned by the ferocity of her embrace._

 _"_ _I got here as soon as I could," he'd told her, holding her tightly and resting his cheek on the top of her head._

 _They must have stayed that way for hours, just holding each other as the finality of the day's events began to truly sink in._

 _He had broken away from her as Ray Jr's small voice called out to him._

 _"_ _Uncle Horatio, what's wrong?" the young boy asked, holding on to the toy police car that he'd bought him for his fifth birthday._

 _Yelina shook her head. "I haven't been able to tell him," she sobbed. "I couldn't do it."_

 _It suddenly felt like it had all those years ago when he'd had to tell Ray that both of their parents were dead. History was repeating itself._

 _He turned to the boy, taking a deep breath and steeling himself for what he was about to do._

 _"_ _Hey, buddy," he said as he knelt beside his nephew. "Come with me…"_

 _Yelina's voice broke his reverie._

 _"_ _Thank you for last night. I don't think I could have got through it without you."_

 _His heart ached to see her so sad. "Hey, it's ok," he said as he pulled her into a tight hug. "We'll get through this, I promise you."_

 _She suddenly clung to him tighter. "Promise you won't leave me?"_

 _She sounded so desperate. He could deny her nothing. "I'm here," he crooned. "I'm staying right here, I promise."_

He'd begun getting restless again, murmuring to himself as his body twitched and his eyes rolled from left to right under half-closed eyes. Suddenly, the eyes opened fully and seemed to look straight at her, yet there was no recognition in them.

The name that fell from Horatio's lips as he looked at Calleigh stung her painfully.

"Yelina."


	13. Chapter 13

_He got into the passenger seat of the car, looking briefly at the other occupant._

 _"_ _This is becoming a habit," he said tiredly, running a hand over his stubble-covered cheeks._

 _"_ _Get used to it. This is taking longer than I thought it would."_

 _"_ _We're already on shaky ground here," he replied, knowing the other man would brush off his concerns without a second thought._

 _"_ _You worry too much," the other man said, holding his hand out for the envelope._

 _"_ _Yeah, and maybe you don't worry enough. This is going to blow up in our faces, you know," he said, getting out of the car and slamming the door shut._

* * *

Detective John Hagen sat in his apartment with a bottle of scotch beside him. Foregoing the glass, he'd drunk straight from the bottle instead.

Sleep was getting harder to come by. The only way he'd been able to block out the images had been to drink himself into a stupor each night. Only then would the voices in his head quieten and leave him in peace.

Things had spiralled out of control so quickly and he'd found himself utterly alone. Calleigh could barely bother to look at him anymore, his body yearning for her tender touch once more.

And yet she had left him.

They all left him, in the end.

* * *

 _"_ _Calleigh," he asked, stepping quietly into the break room. "Everything ok?"_

 _She shook her head, wiping the tears from her face, willing herself to return to her usual sunny disposition. She felt anything but cheerful right now._

 _"_ _I'm ok," she insisted, clearing her throat and avoiding eye contact with the one person who could read her like no one else._

 _"_ _Drink this," he said, placing a steaming cup of coffee in front of her._

 _"_ _Horatio, you don't have to do this," she said, hearing him sit down beside her. "I'm fine, really."_

 _He said nothing. He sat silently waiting for her to talk when she wanted to._

 _"_ _You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" she asked, a hint of annoyance in her tone, mixed with a tinge of resignation._

 _She could almost hear the sadness in his voice. "Not like this, no."_

 _They sat quietly for a time. Each time a colleague had walked toward the break room door, a fierce glare from their supervisor warned that their company would not be welcomed right now._

 _"_ _Can we get out of here?" she finally asked._

 _He gave her one of those boyish smiles that made him look so handsome. "Of course, ma'am."_

* * *

Calleigh realised that she must have fallen asleep at some point as the sound of a nurse entering the room woke her. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she sat up straighter, watching as the nurse pressed various buttons on the monitors.

"Sorry," the nurse said, placing the chart back on the end of the bed. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She nodded her head. "How long have I been asleep?"

It felt as if she'd been asleep for days.

"Just a couple of hours. You fell asleep not long after he did," the nurse said, motioning to the man in the bed.

"How is he this morning?" Calleigh asked, glancing down at the hand still holding hers. Even deeply asleep, Horatio clung to her tightly.

"The antibiotics will take a day or two to get into his system and do their work. We just need to keep the fever under control and make sure he doesn't get too dehydrated while that happens. Maybe you should go home and get some rest," the nurse suggested as she made her way to the door. "He'll be pretty out of it today as well."

She looked down at the hand holding hers knowing full well that she couldn't leave him alone like this. Despite him calling out to Yelina, she had stayed by Horatio's side all night, soothing him as his fevered dreams caused him to become agitated and distressed. Each time she had tried to break contact with him, he had gripped her hand even tighter.

She would have no choice but to break away soon as her bladder reminded her that she had been sitting drinking coffee all night to stay awake.

"If he wakes, can you tell him I'll be right back?" she said, gently disengaging her hand from Horatio's grip.

The nurse nodded as Calleigh left the room.

* * *

 _They had fallen into an easy routine when it came to day to day life. Ray wasn't here, it hadn't been fair for Yelina to bring up their young son on her own._

 _She had been too proud to ask him for help, yet she had not turned him away when he had turned up on her doorstep almost every evening since._

 _It alarmed him how easily he fell into the routine of picking up groceries, collecting Ray Jr from school, cooking a meal for the three of them..._

 _Was he getting too comfortable with their current arrangement?_

 _He felt Yelina's hand on the small of his back as his hands sunk back into the dishwater._

 _"_ _Who knew that the great Lieutenant Horatio Caine was such a good cook?" she smiled playfully at him under those dark eyelashes of hers._

 _He allowed himself a smirk as he placed another plate on the rack. "Don't breathe a word to anyone. It'll ruin my reputation."_

 _"_ _Always the tough guy, huh?" Yelina responded, her hand moving higher up his back._

 _"_ _Not always," he swallowed deeply as she looked at him intently. "I have my moments."_

 _He could feel her moving closer toward him. He found himself mesmerised by her deep brown eyes. He'd fallen under her spell with no more than a sultry glance as their forehead's touched intimately._

 _Their lips were almost touching when Ray Jr's voice broke the spell between them, his excitable squealing at the car headlights that bathed the house in a soft glow._

 _"_ _Daddy! Daddy!" the young boy squealed as the front door opened. "You're home!"_

* * *

Calleigh hadn't expected to be greeted by such a commotion as she returned to Horatio's room.

Opening the door, she saw a nurse gently push his battered body back down to the pillows. The monitors were audibly demonstrating the distress he was in.

"She's gone," he gasped as another spasm of pain shot through his lower back. "I have to tell her."

"You need to calm down, sir," the nurse replied. "You need to lie still."

Undeterred, Horatio continued. "Calleigh… I have to – "

"Hey," she crooned, making her way into his line of sight. "What's all this fuss about?"

He could feel her cool hand on his face. It felt like heaven as the momentary surge of energy quickly left his body.

He looked at her with eyes clouded by fever. "Calleigh… you're here?" He screwed his eyes shut and then opened them again. The sight would have been comical had it not been for his current predicament. "I woke up and you were gone."

She gently caressed his face. He sounded so sad. "I went to the bathroom, that's all."

Slowly, Horatio let out a pained breath as the beeping from the monitors returned to their normal speed. "They've all gone," he sobbed, tears filling his eyes. "They all left me. Everyone I've ever loved."

She wiped the tears from his cheeks gently. "I won't leave you, I promise."

The heat radiating from him was alarming. "I can't lose…" he began before his words trailed off, his thoughts disjointed and fractured. "You should know… I have to tell you that I – "

His eyes closed as the words died on his lips, the fever finally taking the little energy that he had left as he fell once more into unconsciousness.

* * *

 _He suddenly felt deeply uncomfortable as he watched his brother lift his young son into the air, spinning him round repeatedly in the hallway._

 _"_ _Ray," Yelina said, moving toward her husband and kissing him lightly on the lips, their little boy wriggling between them. "Why didn't you call and tell me you were coming home?"_

 _He had wanted to make a quiet exit through the back door, yet Ray's voice stopped him in his tracks._

 _"_ _Horatio," Ray said coldly, staring at his older brother._

 _"_ _Ray," he responded, avoiding eye contact with his sibling. "How did the sting go?"_

 _"_ _Good. We tied up the case quicker than I thought we would. Hagen's back at PD doing the paperwork."_

 _"_ _Well," Horatio said after several moments of awkward silence as he grabbed his suit jacket. "I best be going."_

 _Ray smiled tightly at him. "Let me walk you to your car."_

 _He could feel Ray's presence behind him as he made his way toward his car._

 _"_ _Making yourself comfortable, I see."_

 _"_ _Ray, it's not like that – " he began, only to be cut off._

 _"_ _I know exactly what it's like," Ray spat. "You're getting your feet under my table. Yelina and Ray Jr are mine, not yours."_

 _Horatio sighed, "They don't belong to anyone, Ray. You don't own them. If you weren't so selfish you'd see that._

 _"_ _Selfish? I'm out there risking my ass and you think I'm selfish?! I'm doing this so that my wife and kid can have a better life!"_

 _Horatio could feel his own temper sparking at his brother's self-centred attitude. "No, you're doing this for you. You don't give a damn about anyone except yourself!"_

 _"_ _Yeah, well, we can't all be as holy and self-sacrificing as you, Horatio. Tell me, how does it feel to have the sun shine out of your ass?"_

 _He knew Ray was brimming for a fight, it was all he could to keep his fists by his sides and not sink them into his brother's face._

 _"_ _If only they knew," Ray stalked toward his brother menacingly. "The great Horatio Caine let his own mother die. He – "_

 _He'd grabbed his brother by his jacket and slammed him into the side of his car, Ray pushing back as the two of them bristled for a fight._

 _"_ _Do it, Horatio," Ray taunted him. "Pretend I'm our old man. Hit me like you should have hit him all those years ago!"_

 _The mere mention of their father brought Horatio back down to reality with a painful thud. Eyes that had been clouded by fury only moments before suddenly became clear as he realised with some shock what he had been about to do._

 _He pushed Ray away roughly and got into the car, the tyres screeching as he reversed off the drive and onto the road._


	14. Chapter 14

_She had sat in the passenger seat of his car, watching him as they drove further from the bustling streets of Miami._

 _"_ _You're not going to push me to open up and tell you what's wrong?" she asked._

 _A small smile tugged at Horatio's lips. "Would it help if I did?"_

 _Her silence spoke volumes._

 _"_ _Alexx would have dragged it out of me by now," she mused, continuing to watch him drive._

 _"_ _Then let's thank God for small mercies that she's on vacation at the moment," Horatio responded, arching an eyebrow knowingly. "However, I'm willing to listen…whenever you're ready."_

 _Nearly an hour later, Horatio stopped the engine of the car and looked at her._

 _"_ _Where are we?" she asked, not recognising her surroundings._

 _"_ _Just a little place I know," he said, making his way to the passenger side of the car and offering her a hand._

 _"_ _It's pretty quiet around here."_

 _"_ _I know," Horatio said quietly. "It's why I like it here" he said, beckoning her to follow. "Trust me?"_

 _He led her down to a secluded part of the beach, and both ended up sitting on the sand with their back against a large rock, watching the sun setting across the ocean._

 _"_ _This is beautiful," she said, mesmerised by the sounds of water lapping against the shore._

 _He nodded his head, continuing to look out across the ocean. "I come here when I need to think. Sometimes, I come here when I need to be alone."_

 _He seemed so far away in his thoughts that she said nothing. She continued to watch him, waiting for him to continue._

 _"_ _I know people mean well, but sometimes… Sometimes talking is overrated, you know?"_

 _She nodded her head. She knew exactly what he meant._

 _She had plenty of friends, yet there were times when she just didn't have the energy to be the perennially happy go lucky girl that they expected her to be. People assumed that her melodic timbre meant that nothing ever affected her and yet it did, constantly._

 _Her father could be so sweet and loving at times, yet there were periods where his drunken behaviour caused him to be cruel and thoughtless toward her. For as long as she could remember, it felt as if there were two versions of her father thrust into one body. Those changes had been difficult for her to understand as a child and even harder to accept now that she was an adult._

 _He was her flesh and blood and no matter how angry he made her, she would never be able to stop loving him. It was exhausting work being the loved one of an addict. Today had just been too much for her._

 _She had taken a call from a local bar informing her that her father needed a lift back home. Sick of having to drop everything to collect him, she had told her father in no uncertain terms that she would no longer be at his beck and call. She had shouted at him, raging at him to sort his life out before it was too late. She had never been so furious with anyone in her entire life._

 _It was only when she let herself back into her car that she allowed the tears to flow._

 _"_ _It's ok to feel angry, Calleigh," Horatio said quietly, shaking her gently from her thoughts. "It doesn't make you a bad person."_

 _"_ _How did you know?" she asked, shocked that he had been able to read her so easily._

 _He glanced at her briefly before looking away again. "My father was an alcoholic too."_

 _"_ _Does it ever get any easier?" she asked. She could already tell by the look on his face as to what the answer would be._

 _He lifted his arm and beckoned her closer, pulling her against his chest as she sobbed quietly, his other hand stroking her hair tenderly._

* * *

Rick had spent another uncomfortable night on Yelina's couch.

It had been inevitable that the kid would tell his mother about the incident in the car and so Rick had decided to beat the boy to the punch.

The news had gone down as well as he had expected as Yelina's temper ignited.

"He's just a young boy!" she had shouted at him. "What's the matter with you, Rick?"

He'd run a hand through his hair in frustration. "The Chief's been on my back about the department budget, we've got more cases than we can handle, and Horatio's team are closing ranks every time I go near them."

"And that's my son's fault?"

"No," he'd said, trying to be patient with her. "That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" she'd countered, hands on her hips.

"You have no idea the strain I'm under, Yelina. So, leave it, ok?"

The two of them had said nothing for several moments.

"I'd hoped you'd be different," Yelina had said, her voice no more than a whisper.

Shaking himself from the memory, Rick caught a glimpse of Tim Speedle walking down the corridor.

"Speedle. A moment of your time, please." He called out from his office.

He saw the younger man pause in the corridor momentarily before walking toward him.

"What?" Speed asked bluntly.

"I need you to give me an update on the case."

Speed gave him a blank look. "What case?"

"Horatio's," Rick replied, already losing patience. "I know you're all still working on it."

Speed shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rick let out a humourless laugh. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

The look on the young CSI's face spoke volumes as to the unanswered question.

"I know a wall of silence when I see one, Speedle. By the way, we're is Officer Duquesne?"

Speedle fidgeted awkwardly at the mention of his colleague's name. "She's taken a couple of sick days."

"I bet she has. Any chance she'll be at the hospital right about now?"

Tim Speedle refused to answer. "Can I go now?"

"I'm watching you. I'm watching you all," Rick called out to the retreating figure.

* * *

"I had a feeling I'd find you here," Alexx said, letting herself into Horatio's hospital room.

"What are you doing here?" Calleigh asked, stretching her tired body.

"You've been a no-show at the lab for the last two days. People are asking questions."

Calleigh knew exactly who Alexx was talking about.

"Well, I wasn't exactly lying when I said I'd be taking a few sick days," Calleigh said, motioning to Horatio. "I couldn't leave him on his own like this."

Calleigh watched as Alexx ran a hand tenderly over Horatio's forehead, wincing when she felt the heat radiating from it.

"At least the swelling is starting to go down," Alexx remarked. "He'll be back to his handsome self in no time, won't you, sugar?"

Calleigh arched an eyebrow in amusement but said nothing.

"Honey, you should see the line of nurses out there wanting to give our boy a bed bath. And don't even get me started on the female ones."

The two women shared a smile, knowing that Horatio had something about him that others found magnetic. His charms had no doubt affected those in charge of his medical care too.

Alexx took a good look at Calleigh and noticed just how drawn and tired she looked.

"Go home and get a few hour's rest," Alexx told her, dragging a chair over to Horatio's bed.

"I can't leave him," Calleigh protested. "He's been having nightmares and calling out to people. He sounds so sad, Alexx."

Alexx glanced at the monitors beside the bed. "I'll stay with him until you get back, I promise."

Calleigh found herself being shooed out of the room as Alexx prepared to stand guard over her colleague and friend.

* * *

 _"_ _Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust."_

 _He watched numbly as Ray's coffin was lowered to the ground. He tossed a handful of dirt into the hole as the breath hitched in his throat. Each shot from the honour guard made him flinch, each bullet entering the sky a reminder that he had failed his brother._

 _He held Ray Jr's hand tightly. The little boy had yet to grasp the finality of the situation. That his father was gone forever and would never be coming back._

 _After months of wishing that he could have the family his brother had left behind, he suddenly found himself thrust into that very position through a cruel twist of fate._

 _Yelina had been beside herself these past few weeks. It had been he who had made the funeral arrangements, completed the paperwork for Ray's police pension. It had been he who had held Ray Jr as he cried for a father who would never return._

 _Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned._

* * *

A groan from Horatio caught Alexx's attention.

"Where's Calleigh?" he asked, a chill sending a shudder through his tired and aching body.

"Well, hello to you, too," Alexx responded tartly.

His eyes were still glazed with fever. She suddenly felt bad for being short with him.

"She's gone home for a shower and few hour's rest. She's been with you the whole time."

He looked at her blankly.

"You've been running quite the fever the last few days." She took his hand, gently rubbing her thumb over the back of it, mindful of the port still attached to it. "You still are, as it happens."

"I don't remember," he groaned.

"I'm not surprised, sugar."

She suddenly felt him tense, the monitors beside the bed becoming louder as his eyes widened – whether in shock or fear, she couldn't tell.

"He's here," Horatio said, raising a shaky hand to the door.

Alexx turned around quickly but saw nothing.

"Honey, it's the fever making you hallucinate. There's nothing there, I promise you."

"No, he was there," he insisted as his eyes slid closed of their own accord. "I saw him. He was there. You have to believe me."


	15. Chapter 15

**_Thanks again to everyone who has read and/or reviewed the story so far. I hope you continue to enjoy it!_**

* * *

 _It felt as if she had been crying for hours as she clung helplessly to Horatio's body. He continued to stroke her hair, saying nothing._

 _Finally, she broke away and looked into those achingly blue eyes of his. Cupping his face with a shaky hand, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Taking encouragement from the fact that he hadn't pulled back, she moved closer still, until she was almost on his lap._

 _"_ _Calleigh, wait," he said, placing his hands on her arms, moving away from her slightly._

 _"_ _I thought you wanted this?" she said, confused as to why he had suddenly pulled away._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter what I want," he told her. "This isn't about me."_

 _"_ _I'm not sure I know what you mean?"_

 _She watched him intently as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're upset and angry and rightly so. I don't want you to do something that you'll wake up and...regret tomorrow. You mean too much to me to let that happen."_

 _He sounded so sad, refusing to look at her._

 _She knew that she'd had feelings for him before, and yet his insistence that he would not take advantage of her in her state of emotional distress only made her love him more._

 _Almost every other man she had known or dated would have taken the opportunity and slept with her, knowing that sex would be freely offered. Losing herself in passion would have dampened the flames of fury that she felt at being helpless to fix her father before he drank himself into an early grave._

 _She had become so tired of the promises he'd repeatedly made to stop drinking, knowing full well that he believed them to be true each time he'd said them. How many times had she cleared his apartment of half-drunk bottles of scotch, knowing every hiding place he had for his chemical crutch?_

 _He had become so good at hiding the signs of his illness. There were days when she honestly couldn't tell if he were truly sober. There were tell-tale signs that she gradually became wise to - the breath mints, the strong cologne. She would let herself fall into the fantasy that, this time, he had changed and that he would never touch another drop of alcohol._

 _It hurt to know that her love alone would never be reason enough for him to stop drinking. There was no crueller blow than to know that your parent never loved you enough to give up the very thing that was slowly killing them. Parents were meant to love you unconditionally, so what was it about her that wasn't enough for him to stop?_

 _She had wanted to lose herself in the warm embrace of another human being; to forget, just for once, that the world was a horrible and shitty place. After all the crap her father had put her through, didn't she deserve a little something for herself?_

 _So many men would have taken advantage and yet Horatio hadn't._

 _"_ _You're such a good man, Horatio," she said, stroking the side of his face tenderly._

 _He frowned slightly at her words. "I'm just a man. A flawed and difficult one at that. I'm not an easy person to know."_

 _"_ _Well, I'm not exactly a walk in the park either," she laughed._

 _They sat in silence for several moments._

 _"_ _So, what is this?" Calleigh finally asked, taking one of his hands and running her thumb over the back of it._

 _Horatio used his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's whatever we want it to be, but let's take it one day at a time, ok?"_

 _She nodded her head in agreement. "Whatever this is, it's ours and no one else's, right?"_

 _"_ _Absolutely," he smiled, melting her heart with his boyish grin._

* * *

Horatio felt a hand caressing his cheek softly. His eyes fluttering open to reveal Alexx looking down at him, concern evident in her eyes.

"How're you feeling, hun?"

"Like shit."

He saw Alexx raise an eyebrow at his choice of words.

"Your temperature has started coming down over the last couple of hours. You'll start feeling better soon."

He tried to nod his head, instantly regretting it.

"And before you ask, Calleigh will be back later this evening. I gave her the day off."

Alexx's piercing stare conveyed her unwillingness to argue the point.

"You know, if I were a lesser woman, I'd think you didn't care about me."

"Alexx," he pleaded, "You know that's not true. I care about you…a lot."

She suddenly felt guilty for giving him such a hard time. The fever that had taken over his body had certainly hit him hard. Add a skull fracture and a severe beating, it was no wonder his thoughts were all over the place.

As emotionally obstinate as he could be at times, Alexx knew that she had access to areas of this troubled man that no one else could lay claim to. After Ray's death, she'd been the only one that he had finally been able to let his emotional defences down around.

It had only been after Yelina and Ray Jr had left to visit with her mother that the cracks in Horatio's defences had begun to show. Having to make funeral arrangements and take care of his brother's distraught widow and son had provided him with a focus that allowed him to ignore his own grief for a time. With Yelina and Ray Jr gone, Horatio had walked the halls of the lab like a ghostly spectre in the days since their departure.

The final straw had been the day Horatio had arrived at a crime scene wearing the same clothes as the day before and sporting two days' worth of stubble on his face. To those who didn't know him, Horatio would have given the impression that everything was fine. Yet to those who knew him well, the fact that he had arrived even slightly dishevelled and unshaven was enough to set alarm bells ringing.

She had followed him home that night, determined that she would talk some sense into him. He had been so distracted that he hadn't even heard her creep up behind him and place her foot in the front door as he tried to close it.

"What are you doing here?" he'd asked tiredly.

She'd let out a small gasp as she saw the dark marks under his eyes. The lines around his face seemed even more pronounced in the harsh light of his hallway.

"I came to check up on you," she'd said, closing the door behind her. "Looks like I had good reason to, too."

"Alexx, I'm tired. What do you want?"

She'd said nothing as she made her way into the kitchen, alarmed to find hardly any food in the refrigerator or cupboards.

"When was the last time you ate anything?" she asked, tutting loudly at him.

He shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Grab a shower," she'd commanded him. "I'll order us some takeout and then you and I are going to have a long chat, sugar."

"Alexx – "

"Do it," she'd commanded, unwilling to take no for an answer.

She'd made her way into the lounge while she'd waited for the food to arrive, stumbling upon a case file on the coffee table. She could tell from the creased edges that Horatio had been through the papers several times recently. She didn't even need to read the front page to know whose file it was.

"Making yourself at home, I see."

His quiet voice had taken her by surprise as he stood in the hallway wearing jeans and an old grey t-shirt.

She'd commanded him to eat at least three quarters of the Chinese food she'd ordered before entering a lengthy tirade at him.

He'd finally lifted a hand up in defeat. "Enough, Alexx. I get it, ok?"

"Do you?" she'd countered, "Do you really?"

"Please, you've made your point."

She'd not been convinced. She knew him too well to be fooled by his placation of her anger.

"You need to talk to someone, sugar. I can see that this is eating you up inside."

He'd shook his head, screwing his eyes shut. "I'm fine. I need to be strong for Yelina and Ray Jr."

"So, you waited until they left so _you_ could fall apart?"

"I don't get to fall apart, Alexx. I have to be there for them."

"And who's there for you?"

The look on his face had made it clear that the answer had been 'no one'.

How had no one ever reached out to him and offered their strength when his was wavering?

"Please, don't push me," he'd pleaded, standing and moving away from her, running a hand over his face. His defences were crumbling.

"Honey, you can shout and scream at me all you want, but you need someone to be strong for you, ok?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes as she walked toward him. "Please, don't," he'd begged as she pulled him into a fierce hug.

"It's ok," she'd crooned as she felt the silent sobs wrack his body for a few precious moments before he broke away from the contact.

Although the moment had been brief, the fact that he'd let her in at all spoke volumes as to the trust he had placed in her.

* * *

Calleigh had to admit that it felt good to have a shower and a change of clothes. The change of scenery had certainly helped in that regard too.

She had spent most of the last 48 hours at the hospital with a man who she had complex feelings for. Horatio had stumbled from one fevered dream to another and it had physically hurt to watch see him so distressed, knowing there would be nothing she could do except hold his hand and try to reassure him that it would all be over soon.

The nurses had told her that he would probably not remember much of what had happened once the fever abated, and yet she would not be able to forget the things that he had said. As jumbled as his mutterings were, he called out to her repeatedly and begged her not to leave him. Several times he had tried to say something before the fever and his injuries stole the moment from him.

There were still so many questions that needed answering, many of them revolving around Horatio's brother. With Horatio in no fit state to be able to answer any of them, it left her with one option – Yelina Salas.

The attack had clearly had something to do with Raymond Caine's time undercover and John Hagen had been unwilling to offer any help in tracking down the suspects. Horatio had always been resolute in the fact that he would not discuss the subject of his brother with anyone, but she needed to know more about the murdered man if she were to keep her promise to Horatio that she would keep his family safe.

She had heard the rumours going around the department about Horatio and Yelina. Some said that they had embarked on a torrid love affair while Ray was still undercover in Narcotics. To hear some tell it, the lieutenant and the beautiful detective were still very much an item to this day.

Talk, and gossip in particular, were cheap in the department and Calleigh had no doubt that there were several rumours about her making their rounds in the hallways of the MDPD. She paid them no heed. She didn't need salacious rumours of half-truths, she needed the cold, hard facts and it seemed that Yelina might be the only person who could give her that.

With a sense of trepidation, she dialled the detective's number.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a huge risk, but one he'd needed to take.

Keeping his head down, he'd snuck through the hospital corridors, being careful to avoid the cameras that would give him away.

It seemed perverse, yet he needed to see him. He was guilty of putting the lieutenant in this situation in the first place. He had to see for himself the results that his treachery had bought.

Maybe now the images that haunted his dreams would stop.

* * *

Alexx was still sitting by Horatio's bedside, his eyes opening slowly as he came back to awareness.

"I'm afraid you missed dinner," she said, placing a file on the cabinet beside his bed.

"I wasn't hungry anyway," he replied. The drugs they insisted on pumping into him made him feel nauseous and he'd been able to hold down little in the way of food since he'd woken up several days ago.

"How are you feeling?"

He considered the question for a moment. "Better than earlier."

Alexx glanced at the monitors beside Horatio's bed. "Your temperature is almost back to normal now."

"What was it before?" he asked, although he wasn't really interested in the answer.

"It was high enough that you were hallucinating."

He gave her an incredulous look. "Really?"

"Yeah, and you kept calling out for Calleigh."

Alexx watched with some amusement as Horatio's cheeks flushed a deep red – and not from fever this time.

"A girl could be hurt by that," she teased. "I thought I was the only woman who had a special place in your heart."

It was fun watching him get flustered.

"Alexx, you know how much I care about you…how much you mean to me. You've always – "

She held her hand up, a wicked grin on her face. "Oh, stop it with all the touchy feely stuff. I was teasing you!"

"Remind me again why I like you?" he grumbled, "I seem to have forgotten what your redeeming qualities are."

"The fact that I don't take any of your stoic bullshit for a start?" Alexx volunteered, maintaining eye contact with him. "Or maybe it's my immunity to your death glare."

They looked at each other for several moments.

Horatio finally relented and gave her a grim look. "I have a feeling that you've got some kind of lecture lined up for me."

"What makes you say that?" she smiled knowingly.

"You have that look on your face that tells me I should brace myself...and that I'm not going to like whatever it is that you have to say."

"Well," Alexx began, making herself comfortable. "First you can tell me what the hell you thought you were doing going off half-cocked to meet someone on a deserted road at night...and then you can tell me just what the hell is going on with you and Calleigh."

* * *

Calleigh felt uncharacteristically nervous as she waited for Yelina to arrive.

It had been with a sense of trepidation that she'd made the call. A small part of her felt she was doing the wrong thing, that Yelina would say something that would confirm her worst fears – that Horatio's heart belonged to the beautiful detective.

As much as she would have liked to convince herself otherwise, this situation was bigger than that. She would need to put her ego and heart to one side if she was going to keep her promise to Horatio.

Hearing the doorbell ring, she took a deep breath and painted on her game face. "Yelina, thanks for coming."

The detective smiled as Calleigh opened the door fully, gesturing for her to enter. "No problem. Apologies for being late, we were a detective down in the squad room today, but I got here as soon as I could."

Calleigh could sense a hint of annoyance in Yelina's voice, although it was impossible to tell at what.

"Can I get you a drink?" Calleigh asked as Yelina followed her into the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Coffee would be great," Yelina replied, taking a seat at the table. "Is everything ok with Horatio?"

It had been a blessing that she'd had her back turned to the detective. One look at her face would have given the game away.

"I spoke to Alexx a little while ago," Calleigh began, turning on the coffee machine and adding water. "The antibiotics have kicked in and he's doing better now. It was rough for a while though."

"That's Horatio for you. You can never expect him to do anything at half-measure." The humour in Yelina's voice was evident as she spoke.

"You haven't visited him for a while," Calleigh said, bringing the mugs over to the table and sitting opposite her visitor.

It wasn't a criticism, just a statement of fact.

Calleigh saw the dark look that crossed Yelina's face.

"He made it clear that he didn't want me there and that he didn't need my help. So much for being family and supporting one another." The anger Yelina felt was clear in the way she spoke. "I'm doing as he's asked."

A cruel part of Calleigh wanted to twist the knife in further, to tell Yelina that Horatio's rejection of her was borne from some petty need to hurt her. It would be all too easy to keep silent on the real reason he had sent the detective away.

"He didn't tell you, did he?" Calleigh asked quietly.

"Tell me what?"

"Why he was attacked. The reason he was out on that road alone at night."

Yelina looked at her, confused. "It wasn't gang related?"

Calleigh shook her head, steeling herself. "It was about Ray."

Calleigh heard the breath rush out of Yelina audibly. She paused for a few moments to allow the other woman time to absorb what she'd just heard.

"He'd had a call from an unknown source telling him that he had evidence that would clear Ray's name."

There was no need to explain further. Yelina had lived through the rumours that had spread after her husband's death.

"It was a set up?" Yelina asked, struggling to take in what she was being told.

Calleigh nodded her head. "He's worried that whoever attacked him will make an attempt on you or your son next."

She could see the detective mentally putting the pieces together.

"Who did this to him?" Yelina asked angrily. "Who set him up?"

"We don't know. Horatio doesn't remember much of what happened that night, but it's clear that this has something to do with Ray. Horatio's never spoken about his brother much...so I was hoping you could help me fill in some of the blanks."

She saw the wince that crossed Yelina's face. "I'll tell you anything I can if you think it will help."

* * *

Frank had been livid to find that Hagen hadn't completed the witness reports from the previous shift, even though he'd been on the other man's back about it all day.

Hagen hadn't even bothered to turn up this morning and had left the squad room a man down and overrun with work to do. His behaviour had been erratic at best the past week or so, it was all Frank could do not to grab the man by his jacket and shake him.

He had to do this quietly though. There was something that didn't seem right with Hagen and it seemed to coincide with the attack on Horatio. In the days since, Hagen had been physically present yet mentally absent. It didn't take a genius to conclude that Hagen's behaviour was, at the very least, suspicious.

It had been fortunate that Frank had given Hagen a lift home from a bar not long after the younger detective had split from Calleigh. Hagen had not taken Calleigh's need for distance well and had taken himself to a bar popular with most members of the MDPD to drown his sorrows.

After taking a call from one of the bar staff, Frank had arrived to find Hagen considerably worse for wear. He'd had to drag the man from the bar and ask him several times where he lived in order to drag his sorry ass home.

Hagen was AWOL today. Frank's instincts told him that the best place to start looking would be the detective's home.

* * *

"Of all the stupid things to do," Alexx admonished after hearing Horatio's reasons for the meeting out near the Glades. "If you didn't already have a head injury, I'd smack you upside the head myself!"

Horatio said nothing as he tried to push himself further back into the pillows.

"You could have been killed. If we hadn't found you when we did…" Alexx's voice trailed off.

"I had to know, Alexx. I couldn't protect Ray...I at least owed it to him to clear his name…once and for all."

The sadness in his voice caused Alexx's anger to drain away rapidly.

"You didn't have to do this on your own. We would have supported you."

"It wasn't fair to place any of you at risk. Personally or professionally. You all have too much to lose."

"And you don't?" Alexx shot back, her anger surging again. "Do you have any idea what it would do to us if we lost you?"

The blank expression on Horatio's face told Alexx all that she needed to know – Horatio hadn't even considered the thought.

"You have no idea, do you?" Alexx asked.

"Alexx, what are you talking about?"

How could he be so blind as to not see it?

Any fool could see that Calleigh clearly had feelings for him. Her behaviour in the last several days were indicative of someone who cared more than a colleague should.

"Calleigh."

"What about Calleigh?" he asked, still confused.

"I think she's falling in love with you."

She sat in silence as Horatio tensed suddenly, stunned by the revelation.

* * *

 _"_ _When is it going to be enough?" he asked the other man, feeling the sweat drip down his back._

 _"_ _When I say it's enough."_

 _"_ _You're not the one taking all the risks" he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest._

 _His words brought an angry response from the other man. "Just keep your mouth shut and do your job."_

 _It would serve no purpose to anger him further, yet he had to make his point._

 _"_ _I'm getting fed up of being your lapdog."_

 _"Well, m_ _aybe I should get you put down then?" the other man snarled in his face._

 _"_ _Yeah," he sighed as he got out of the car. "Maybe you should."_


	17. Chapter 17

Yelina slammed the car door shut angrily, trying to keep her emotions in check.

Calleigh's revelation yesterday had come as a massive shock - how could Horatio have kept something so important from her?

She was furious that he had not told her the truth for the reason behind the attack on him. Did he think her so weak that she wouldn't be able to deal with it?

She had spent yesterday evening recalling memories better left forgotten about Ray and his time undercover. To live those days once was bad enough, but to have to excavate the traumas that she'd hoped had been buried once and for all had only increased her feelings of fury.

It had been one thing to acknowledge and recognise those feelings with Horatio, but to have to do it again in front of one of his colleagues was more than she could bear.

Her dreams had been fraught with images from the past, both of her husband and Horatio. Her subconscious had taunted her all night with memories of the two brothers and their often-fractious relationship when Ray was alive.

It served to remind her of what she already knew to be true – that she had been in love with both brothers at the same time. As much as her heart yearned for Ray after his death, her feelings for Horatio had only grown stronger, even though she forced herself to deny it.

Maybe Rick had been right all along. All arguments between them had revolved around Horatio in one way or another. Rick had openly admitted that he strongly disliked the man and Yelina knew, deep down, she was settling for second best when it came to Rick.

Making her way through the hospital corridors, Yelina stalked toward Horatio's room, intent on getting a few answers of her own.

* * *

 _They had sat together on the beach for hours, watching the gulls swooping in to catch their prey._

 _"_ _It's getting late," Horatio said. The chill of the night air was beginning to take hold._

 _Calleigh looked at him nervously. "I'm not sure I want to be alone tonight."_

 _No doubt she had heard his deep sigh._

 _"_ _Calleigh – "_

 _"_ _Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked. "No funny business, I promise."_

 _He laughed as she pulled a mock scout salute._

 _His house had been closer. They drove in comfortable silence._

 _"_ _This is me," he said, taking the keys from the ignition._

 _"_ _Wow, I'm not sure what I expected," Calleigh said, taking in the building._

 _It was a small yet tastefully built house, separate from the others in the area. It spoke of minimal yet functional._

 _It amused him to see her reaction. "What were you expecting then?" he asked, holding his hand out to her as they approached the front door._

 _"_ _I don't know…something bigger?"_

 _He shrugged his shoulders. "There's no point in having a big place if you're the only one who lives in it," he said, unlocking the door and beckoning Calleigh inside._

 _Making his way to the kitchen, he could hear Calleigh walking from room to room as she took in her surroundings. He busied himself making them a coffee. By the time he had finished, Calleigh had found her way into the lounge._

 _She turned as she heard him enter the room, a look of wonder on her face. "I never knew," she said, gesturing to the vast array of books. Chaucer, Tennessee Williams, Orwell, Twain and a dozen other authors lined the shelves._

 _He suddenly felt self-conscious. "My mother was a voracious reader. I guess I inherited it from her."_

 _It was then that he realised it had been the first time he had spoken of his mother to anyone except Alexx._

 _"_ _It helps take my mind off of work," he finished quietly._

 _"_ _What else do you like to do?"_

 _The question took him by surprise. He wasn't used to letting anyone get too close, especially anyone from his team. Yet Calleigh had a way of disarming his defences, merely with a look or a glance in his direction._

 _He looked at her intently before opening a cabinet full of DVDs. Her eyes widened as she took in the dozens of film titles, surprised to find that he also enjoyed many of the films that she did._

 _"_ _Which is your favourite?" she asked, smiling at him._

 _He bent down and selected a case, handing it to her and smiling shyly._

 _"_ _Mr Smith Goes to Washington?" she said, the surprise evident in her voice. "You like Capra?"_

 _He gave her another shy smile. "And Jimmy Stewart, too." His eyes dropped to the floor momentarily before meeting hers once more. "They don't make them like they used to."_

 _She smiled back at him, amazed at how he was finally letting someone past the defences he had built. "They sure don't," she replied as she sat next to him on the couch._

 _He lifted his arm and motioned her to lean into him as the settled down to watch the movie, both sipping silently on their coffees._

* * *

"How dare you," Yelina shouted, making her way into Horatio's room.

The sound of her voice had woken him with a start. He placed an arm over his tender midsection at the pain it caused.

Yelina had paid his discomfort no mind as she walked toward him, anger clearly written all over her face.

"Yelina – " he began, trying to placate her.

"Did you think that I wouldn't find out?"

He was confused. What on earth was she talking about?

"You arrogant, self-centred, lying bastard! How could you keep this from me?"

Yelina stalked across the room, her fury evident. "Don't you think I have a right to know if something involves Ray?"

"I was trying to keep you safe," Horatio implored her. "I didn't want to involve you and Ray Jr, not until I knew what was going on."

"So you lied to me instead? How does that keep us safe?"

"Yelina, you don't understand – "

She was on him in a second. "No, _you're_ the one who doesn't understand! How dare you – "

"What the hell is going on here?"

The sound of Calleigh's voice had been enough to stop Yelina in her tirade at the injured man.

"Leave us alone, Calleigh. This doesn't concern you," Yelina shot back, turning her attention back to Horatio. "This is between Horatio and I."

Calleigh moved herself closer to the bed. "It seems like there's only a 'you and Horatio' when it's convenient for you. Where have you been when he needed you?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Yelina retorted, an ugly scowl on her face. "You have no idea what you're talking about. You know nothing about this."

"I called you because I hoped you could help...It looks like I was wrong."

"Well, you've hardly done a great job in finding out who did this to him, have you?"

"How dare you – "

"Enough!" Horatio shouted, wincing at the pain it caused, glaring at the two women. "Stop it, both of you."

"Horatio," they both implored him.

He lifted a hand up to stop them. "Yelina, I think you should go."

"But – " the detective began before being cut off.

"Now's not the time, ok?"

"But now's the time to talk to her?" Yelina said, jabbing a finger at the other woman. "You're choosing her?"

The throbbing of his headache hadn't been helped by the two women going at each other like a pair of bulldogs bristling for a fight.

"I care about you, Horatio," Yelina said, trying to reason with him. "We'll figure this out together. We'll find who did this to you."

Horatio screwed his eyes shut. "If you care about me like you say you do, you'll do as I ask and leave."

He sighed heavily as he heard Yelina leave the room. "This isn't over," she called out over her shoulder, slamming the door shut behind her.

"What the hell was all that about?" he asked Calleigh, opening his eyes, looking at her intently.

His penetrating gaze took her by surprise. She had seen so many suspects be on the receiving end of that look. Now she finally understood how much it unnerved them.

"I called her and told her the truth," she replied, folding her arms across her chest.

"You had no right to do that."

"I had every right, Horatio," she shot back. "I've sat with you while you called out to Ray. There was nothing I could do to help you. I had to watch you go through it all alone. I'm trying to find out who did this to you. I'm trying to keep Yelina and her son safe like you asked me to."

Horatio said nothing, continuing to hold her with that look of his.

"You've never talked to me about Ray," she said, sadly. "So I asked Yelina instead. I didn't expect her to come in and read you the riot act though."

Horatio let out a humourless laugh, instantly regretting it as pain flared across his abdomen and back. "Well, it was certainly a different way to wake up this morning. I could have handled her, though."

"I guess I went a little overboard, didn't I?" Calleigh admitted as she sat down next to him. "I guess my feelings got in the way of my professionalism."

He was looking at her intently once more, yet it wasn't with annoyance or frustration this time.

He was about to ask her to expand on her last statement when the doctor in charge of his care entered the room.

"How are you feeling this morning, Lieutenant?" the doctor asked, checking the chart at the end of the bed.

"Better," Horatio answered honestly. "When can I get out of here?"

The doctor smiled, glancing at Calleigh before looking at his patient once more. "We're going to keep you in the ICU for the next 48 hours at least to keep an eye on your kidney and your head injury. Then we'll think about moving you to a room on the regular ward."

"That's not what I meant, doctor. When can I go home?"

"Not for a while yet," the doctor replied. "But if you allow us to do our job, I promise you that I'll discharge you as soon as I can." The doctor held a hand up as Horatio opened his mouth in protest. "That means allowing us to keep you comfortable and not giving my nurses a hard time, ok?"

Both the doctor and Calleigh looked at him, stubbornness clearly written across their faces. Finally, he held a hand up in defeat. "Ok," he sighed. "Ok."

The doctor continued. "I don't think you realise the severity of your injuries, Lieutenant. You're fortunate that your kidney seems to be healing on its own. The outcome could have been a lot worse had you not been found by your colleagues when you were."

Horatio remained quiet, although he gave the doctor a sour look.

"We still want to keep an eye on your skull fracture and the headaches aren't likely to go away any time soon."

"No offence, doctor. I just want to go home and then go back to work."

"Even when we do release you, there's no way you'll be returning to work straight away."

"Are you serious? What are you expecting me to do instead?"

"Rest and recuperate until I decide you're fit enough to return to active duty."

Whatever Horatio had said had been muffled by the hand he drew across his face. His expression left no doubt that whatever had been said had not been kindly toward the doctor.

The doctor looked at Calleigh. "If he can channel that stubbornness into his recovery, he'll be out of here a whole lot quicker. I take it he's not used to being off his feet?"

Calleigh let out a small laugh. "Doctor, you don't know the half of it."

Feeling annoyed that he was being spoken about while in the room, Horatio grumbled. "Hey, I am still here, you know."


	18. Chapter 18

He woke from the dream panting and gasping for air.

When were the images going to stop?

There was no point in trying to get back to sleep. He could see the daylight peeking through the curtains of his dingy apartment. It was imperative that no one saw him. No one could know he was here. It would all fall apart if he was caught.

He'd come too far to let that happen.

* * *

Frank shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat of his sedan. His body protesting at the lack of movement and his full bladder aching.

He'd sat outside Hagen's house all night, looking for any signs of movement that would indicate that the detective was home. Not once had the lights been switched on and it seemed off to Frank that Hagen hadn't returned home at all.

Hagen had been absent from work yesterday and if he were not at home, Frank knew he would have little chance of tracking him down. He had no idea where to start and the other cops in the department would start asking questions of him too if he didn't show his face soon.

Feeling defeated, he turned the key in the ignition and drove away.

Hagen's whereabouts would have to wait for another day.

* * *

John Hagen ran a hand over his face as he shot up in bed, reaching out blindly for his service weapon.

The images, sounds and smells were tormenting him. Keeping a gun by his bedside was the only way he felt safe enough to sleep, and even then it wasn't enough.

The guilt was eating him alive.

Having worked in Narcotics, he knew exactly where to go to get a little chemical relief to help keep the dreams at bay. Combined with a hefty dose of alcohol, it had been enough to get him through the last 24 hours.

He'd avoided work, knowing that he couldn't bear to look at Yelina and not tell her the truth. The urge to confess was so strong that it caused him physical pain. He wanted so badly to admit to it all.

Perhaps finally coming clean would make the images stop.

Maybe then he could find some peace.

* * *

The call had taken him by surprise.

Contact had usually been in the form of text messages on burner phones. To get a call from him was unheard of.

Maybe something had gone wrong?

Standing inside the abandoned warehouse, he shuffled nervously from foot to foot, waiting for the other man to arrive.

"What's with all the cloak and dagger stuff?" he asked.

The other man looked from left to right before walking toward him. "I needed to know that we were alone. There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"I have a proposition for you…something I think you might be interested in."

"Go on."

"Apparently our operation has got the attention of the Mala Noche. They wanna talk business with us."

He couldn't help the look of surprise that crossed his face.

"I wanna take you to the meet. You think you can handle that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because they know who you are. They know everything about you and they'll want you to show that you can be trusted."

He was getting frustrated by this. Hadn't he shown his loyalty already?

The other man hesitated suddenly. Scratching the back of his head absent-mindedly.

"Before we meet them, there's something you should know," the other man said, pulling something from his leather jacket.

He had thought for all the world that it would be a gun, that the man he'd sacrificed so much for would kill him without a second thought.

Even in the dim light, the shiny metal surface was unmistakable.

* * *

 _She woke to the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen. Her nose picking up on the unmistakable smell of fresh coffee._

 _"_ _Wow, a man who cooks," she said as she entered the kitchen, rearranging her hair that had fallen during the night._

 _Horatio turned to look at her and arched an eyebrow at her current attire. "Sleep well?" he asked, placing a cup of coffee in front of her. His eyes roaming over the sweat pants and t-shirt he'd given her last night. Both were far too big for her, yet she wore them effortlessly. The sight of her in his clothes was enough to give him an urge to take them off her, slowly and seductively…_

 _She took a few moments to think the question over. "I did. The décor would probably take some getting used to though," she said, taking a sip of coffee._

 _Horatio laughed at the statement. "It's Ray Jr's room. He stays here when Yelina has to work evenings or weekends. He's already been through too much and I wanted him to feel at home when he's here. He needs some stability in his life," he finished quietly._

 _She had seen the two of them together several times at the lab. The bond between Horatio and the young boy was unmistakable. It seemed as if Ray Jr was one of the few people who could truly reach through Horatio's self-imposed defences. She'd never seen him look so happy and content than when he spent time with the boy._

 _"_ _He adores you," she said, taking another sip of her coffee._

 _He looked uncomfortable at her last words and instead busied himself making breakfast for them both._

 _She watched him move around the kitchen with ease as he prepared various ingredients before placing a cooked breakfast in front of her._

 _"_ _Wow," she said, her eyes widening at the feast he'd prepared for them both. "Is this how you start every day?"_

 _Horatio let out a small laugh. "Usually it's just coffee and a slice of toast. I don't often have company."_

 _She caught the wistful look that crossed his face briefly before he shook his head and began eating._

 _"_ _About yesterday," she began, placing her cutlery down on her now empty plate._

 _He looked at her as he slowly placed his own cutlery down. "Calleigh," he began, only to be cut off._

 _"_ _I'm sorry for getting so upset. I shouldn't have laid it all on you like that. I'm sorry that it happened."_

 _She had been looking so intently at her plate that she missed the look of hurt crossing his features at her last words._

 _"_ _It's ok," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "No harm done."_

 _It took her a moment to process what he'd said. It was only then that it occurred to her that he might have misunderstood._

 _"_ _Horatio," she said as she reached out to take one of his hands. "Last night was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute we spent together. I'm only sorry that my father is the reason it brought us together."_

 _They had sat and watched the film huddled together on the couch, sipping their coffees. She would have gladly stayed that way all night, yet she knew both would regret sleeping so uncomfortably in the morning. Ever the gentleman, he'd allowed her to use the bathroom facilities and laid out clothes in his spare room for her to use._

 _She'd hugged him goodnight and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, knowing that he would not allow things to progress any further. "Thank you," she'd said as she watched him walk down the hall to his own bedroom, wanting for all the world to follow him in there._

 _Her words finally seemed to register with him as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Calleigh, I'll always be here for you, you know that."_

 _"_ _I'd like that," she said softly. "I'd also like to spend more time with you under better circumstances…when my father hasn't gone off and drunk himself half to death somewhere."_

 _He smiled at her. "Me too," he said as he cleared the plates from the table. "What are your plans for today?"_

 _Thank God it was Saturday, she thought, finishing her coffee._

 _"_ _Well, there's this great guy I know who likes the same kind of films I do. I was thinking of asking him to spend the day with me and a bucket of popcorn. Then, if he's lucky, I might treat him to a Pepsi or two tonight…"_

 _"_ _Sounds great," he smirked, drying his hands on a towel. "You'll have to give me his number. He sounds like my kind of man."_

 _She rolled her eyes at him, groaning as she heard his phone bleep, quickly followed by her own. "You have got to be kidding me," she said, reading the message._

 _"_ _Four DBs at Coral Beach?" he asked, putting his phone in his pants pocket._

 _She nodded her head, bitterly disappointed that their plans had been interrupted. "To be continued?" she asked hopefully._

 _He smiled, "To be continued."_

* * *

Sitting quietly in Horatio's office, Calleigh began the onerous task of signing off reports that were long overdue. It was a part of the job that she hated, and yet it was a necessary evil. It made her wonder how Horatio had managed to spend so much time in the field and yet keep on top of the heavy burden of paperwork.

She had left the hospital not long after the argument with Yelina, happy in the knowledge that Horatio's fever had broken and that the doctor was confident that the worst was over. It would now be a long and slow process of recovery.

The doctor had told her that Horatio would spend most of the day having tests and scans to check on his progress. She had decided her time would be better spent catching up on everything she had missed over the past couple of days.

She'd bumped into Speed in the break room and hadn't missed the way he'd looked at her.

"Feeling better?" he'd asked.

She knew it was a loaded question. The rest of the team were under no illusions as to where she'd spent the last few days.

"Much better. Thank you," she'd replied, pouring herself a coffee.

"Must be something going around," Speed suggested as he left the room. "I hope Horatio's doing better," he said over his shoulder, closing the door behind him.

Her mind had been replaying that night on the beach almost constantly since Horatio's attack. Had it only been a few short days before this whole nightmare had begun?

Neither of them had been able to process or examine exactly what had been going on between them before everything had fallen apart so dramatically.

The extent of Horatio's injuries had meant that he'd hardly been coherent for the first few days before the fever had kicked in. Each time they had tried to say something meaningful to each other the moment had been stolen from them.

Was it fate keeping them apart?

They had spent so long talking in half-truths to each other that she was truly confused as to what was happening between them. The unspoken feelings between them were becoming more than she could bear. Something would need to give, sooner or later.

The knock at the office door took her by surprise. She didn't have time to answer before Rick Stetler let himself in.

"Officer Duquesne," he said, taking a seat. "Nice to see you back at work. I hope you're feeling better now."

She saw the knowing look on his face and was under no illusions as to what he truly thought about her absence recently. "What can I do for you, Sargent?"

Rick Stetler adjusted his suit jacket as he made himself comfortable and opened the file on his lap. "You and I need to talk."

Taking a deep breath, Calleigh steeled herself for what was to come.


	19. Chapter 19

**I was planning on making you guys wait until the usual Saturday posting time for this next chapter. Seeing as it is the festive season, consider this a post-Christmas present for you all :)**

* * *

His mind was playing tricks on him. It was the only rational explanation he could come up with.

"I don't believe this," he said, running a shaky hand through his hair. "All this time…"

Everything he'd done, everything he'd risked…

It had all been for nothing.

"Why?" he asked. It seemed to be the only question in his mind right now.

"Why what?" the other man replied, tucking the item back out of sight.

"Why didn't you tell me from the start?"

The other man began pacing the warehouse nervously. "Because it wouldn't have served a purpose for you to know. It would only have placed both of us in danger."

"I don't understand."

The other man let out a small sigh. "You're good. You wouldn't have survived this long if you weren't, but even you're not that good an actor. You wouldn't be able to hide this."

He couldn't believe this was happening. He'd risked everything only to be told that it was a lie. The things he'd done…he would never be able to take those things back.

The man before him was a vicious drug runner.

Or so he had thought.

This man had been the one to set up the lieutenant, yet he knew deep down that it had been his own actions that had caused the most damage.

"Why?" he asked again. "Why did you get me to do it to him?"

For the sake of his sanity, he had to know the reason why this had all come to pass.

The man didn't even look guilty as he replied. "He was getting in the way…spooking the people we needed to get close to. I needed him out of the way."

He'd made it sound so cold…so clinical.

"There are other ways of doing that," he shouted, not caring if anyone heard them. "We almost killed him, for God's sake!"

The other man pinned him with a glare. "And a part of you enjoyed it, didn't it?"

He stood there, stunned. As much as he would have liked to deny it, a part of him had enjoyed hitting the lieutenant, to see such a powerful man brought to his knees. After years of barely controlled jealousy, he had finally been the one with the upper hand.

* * *

"What is it that you want to know?" Calleigh asked, trying to keep her emotions in check. It would serve no purpose for her to let the IAB Sargent get under her skin.

Rick Stetler looked at her intently. "First of all, I want to know where you are with Lieutenant Caine's case. Do you have any suspects yet?"

She couldn't quite put her finger on it, yet there was something strange in Rick Stetler's demeanour, something that didn't sit quite right with her.

"We have trace and DNA evidence, but we haven't been able to match it to anyone so far."

"No one?" Rick asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No one who's in the system," she replied, noting the look of surprise on his face.

"Lieutenant Caine hasn't been able to give you a description of the people who did this to him?"

She shook her head. "Not yet."

She caught the slight smirk that crossed her adversary's face. "So, you're at a dead end?"

"For now," she responded reluctantly.

"Maybe he'll remember more when I interview him," Rick said, closing the folder on his lap.

"He's not in any condition to be interviewed right now," Calleigh responded in a panic. The last thing Horatio needed was to be interrogated by a man who clearly held a grudge against him.

"Officer Duquesne," he began, "Regardless of who attacked him, Lieutenant Caine needs to explain why he went against protocol to meet a suspect. His actions could have put the whole department in jeopardy. The reputation of the crime lab could be called into question."

"As if you care about that!" she shot back, unable to keep her temper in check. "You're just looking for a reason to throw him under the bus."

Rick Stetler stood up, smoothing the lapels of his jacket. "I'm looking out for the best interests of the department. Perhaps the lieutenant knows more about his attackers than he's letting on. For the sake of the department, it would be best for you to remember that we're all on the same side, you know. I only want to get to the truth and I'll do that however I see fit."

"That's bull, you're doing this to get back at him."

"Officer Duquesne - "

"You've got nothing on him."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Why would a senior officer break all protocol and meet with a drug runner?" Rick shot back, instantly regretting the words that spilled unbidden from his mouth.

"Who said anything about drug runners?"

He knew he had to think quickly to get himself out of this. "Lieutenant Caine has been obsessed with tracking down anyone his meth-head brother was involved in. He's made a lot of enemies and pissed off a lot of people he shouldn't have. It stands to reason that his own bull-headedness got him into this mess in the first place."

"You know nothing about him," Calleigh replied, crossing her arms across her chest and standing, hoping to intimidate the man before her. "He's more of a man than you'll ever be!"

She could have hit that smug smile off of his face as he stood before her.

She watched as Rick moved toward the door. "I'll have more questions for you, Officer. I suggest you learn to control that temper of yours."

She stood in stunned silence, watching him leave.

* * *

She'd been in a foul mood when she'd returned home that evening.

Horatio had dismissed her yet again and the shock of rejection had stung painfully.

Perhaps she had handled the situation badly, yet hindsight was useless after the fact.

She'd allowed the shock and surprise of Calleigh's admission to turn into a seething anger that had been left to boil out of control. As the pressure built, her thoughts focused on Horatio and the myriad of complex feelings she held for him.

It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, to demand answers from him and to explain why he had lied to her yet again.

He'd told her that he was trying to protect her, and the admission had been the final fault line to give way under the building pressure of her fury.

His chivalry had always been one of his most endearing qualities, yet it angered her to think that he believed her so incapable that she couldn't handle the truth and that he needed to lie to her repeatedly in case she broke.

They had been through so much together. They had grieved for a man that they had both loved and lost, albeit for different reasons. She was no shrinking violet, yet Horatio had continued to treat her as if she would shatter at any moment.

She had unleashed her unbridled fury as soon as she'd laid eyes on him, not caring that her voice was loud enough for others to hear. She'd been determined that she would get the truth from him this time.

After everything they had been through, she deserved that at least.

And then Calleigh had burst into the room, incensing her further.

What right did that woman have interfering in a private conversation?

How dare that woman pass judgement on her!

It had been Horatio's raised voice that had caused them to stop as he glared at them. It had stopped both women mid-tirade.

She'd been stunned when Horatio had told her to leave. She'd been certain that it would have been Calleigh he'd dismiss.

She'd implored him to reconsider, yet he had been resolute that she should be the one to leave. Couldn't he see that she loved him and that she only wanted to help him?

He'd barely given her a second look as she rushed from the room. Tears had stung her eyes as she made her way down the corridor.

It wasn't over between them. After coming so close to losing him, she was determined to make him see that they could have a life together, that they could be happy.

Ray was gone.

She had no more tears left to cry for the man she had loved.

The man she had lost.

* * *

"How many of your crew are in on it?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

The other man shrugged his shoulders. "None. It's just me. I'm going way out on a limb telling you any of this."

"You must have friends in high places then."

The other man let out a humourless laugh. "You could say that. Why do you think no one's been arrested for the attack?"

The question brought him up short. Despite everything that had happened, the thought hadn't even crossed his mind.

The lieutenant had not gone down without a fight and had landed telling blows on some of his attackers before they finally overpowered him. They had no doubt left evidence all over him as they piled in on the helpless man, beating him until he stopped moving.

"His team haven't found anything because there's nothing to be found," the other man said. "They can't match DNA when there's none in the system."

"How?" he asked, incredulously.

"We have our ways," the other man replied. "This is way bigger than just you and me."

"How much bigger?"

* * *

Horatio let out a pained breath as he closed his eyes, feeling the effects of being poked and prodded by well-meaning doctors and nurses.

The pain seemed to be ever-present. Each tiny movement he made reminded him that whoever had attacked him had done a thorough job. He'd absorbed enough blows in his time to be able to deal with them, and yet the gang who had set upon him had given him a kicking like no other he'd ever experienced.

He wanted so desperately to get out of this place and find Calleigh. He needed to know the truth. He needed to know how she truly felt about him and whether her actions were just those of a friend with a misplaced sense of guilt.

Between the pain, the concussion, and the medication they insisted on flooding his veins with, he'd been barely coherent at times. Yet he wasn't so out of it that he hadn't picked up on the subtle signs that something unspoken was happening between them.

She'd been a constant at his bedside these last few days. He hadn't realised how much comfort she'd brought him until she was no longer there. The lack of her had caused more physical pain than a beating ever could.

The way that Calleigh had reacted to Yelina's unexpected verbal tirade at him spoke volumes about her willingness to protect him, yet he couldn't work out the reasons behind it. The negative voice in his head telling him that her overprotectiveness was borne from a deep-seated guilt that she'd somehow apportioned to herself.

She'd left his room and with it an uncomfortable sense of awkwardness, telling him that she needed to head back to the lab and check in with the team. He had nodded his head as the doctor began the tests that he'd been warned would likely last most of the day.

His heart sank as he glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was way past visiting hours and even though the hospital staff had bent the rules and allowed someone to stay with him, it was obvious that she wouldn't be coming to see him tonight.

He closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would take him quickly.

* * *

Calleigh closed the door to her apartment, leaning back against the wooden door and allowing her head to gently rest against the cold surface.

She had replayed her conversation with Rick Stetler several times in her mind. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something from her.

She'd seen from afar how slimy the IAB officer could be. She was under no illusions that Rick would use the attack on Horatio for his own personal gain if the opportunity arose.

Horatio had always been able to handle Rick with seeming ease and yet she had witnessed to just how out of sorts Horatio had been since his attack. It had brought out in her a fierce compulsion to protect him from any would-be threat.

It had also brought out several other strong emotions in her, ones that she had not been able to hide from those closest to her. She only hoped that Horatio had been so far out of awareness that he hadn't picked up on her erratic behaviour.

It would be pointless trying to sleep with so many thoughts racing around her brain. She needed to see the one person who could help her make sense of things. No matter how disjointed her thoughts were, just being in his presence brought a level of tranquillity that calmed her troubled soul.

Glancing at her watch, she realised that visiting hours were over. She would break out that winning smile of hers and charm the nurse on duty. Hell, she would flash her police ID and badge if she had to.

She needed to see him, even if he had no idea she was there.

* * *

 **There is now only one more chapter to go and with it I will _finally_ reveal who the 'mystery man' really is. Let me know your thoughts on who it might be either via the review button (every writer loves reviews!) or send me a PM with your guesses and I might let you know if you're right!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's the final chapter for you. Happy New Year y'all!**

* * *

"Hey," Calleigh beamed, entering the hospital room. "They told me I find you up and about today."

Horatio smiled at her. He'd been transferred to a private room on the regular ward four days previously and had been disappointed that Calleigh had not yet visited him. He'd had visits from Speed and Eric, and even Frank had spent a few minutes with him while working on a case.

He doubted that he'd been able to make a good job of hiding his disappointment each time anyone who wasn't Calleigh popped their head around his door.

"I bet it feels good to be out of bed, doesn't it?" she asked, perching herself on the side of his bed.

"Sure does," he responded, wincing slightly as he repositioned himself in the chair, his hand automatically going to his taped ribs.

It had taken much convincing, but he'd finally got the doctor to acquiesce and allow him to get out of bed and start moving around. It had hurt like hell at first, but the more he moved his bruised muscles, the less discomfort it gave him.

She gave him an appraising look as he sat in the chair, taking in his unusually ruffled appearance. Dressed in sweat pants and an old MDPD t-shirt, he looked far from his usual tidy self.

"At least they've given you a shave," she remarked, noticing the stubble-free cheeks.

He let out a small laugh, grimacing as it pulled on his sore muscles. "I talked them into giving me a quick haircut, too. Got to keep up appearances..."

She had to admit that he looked better than he had in days. The swelling had reduced significantly and apart from the unusual attire, he looked much more like the Horatio she'd known before the attack.

"Have they said when they're letting you out of here?"

She saw the frown cross his features. "By the end of the week, hopefully."

She knew him well enough to know that he would want to return to the lab way before he was fit enough to do so.

"Alexx won't let you step foot back in the department until your doctor has given you the all clear. You know that, right?"

Horatio gave her a rueful look. "We'll see about that."

Even though the injuries were healing, it once again hit Calleigh as to how close she'd come to losing him. His tenacity was one of the things that she admired the most about him, but there would be no way she would feel comfortable with him being out in the field unless he was fully fit.

Perhaps it had been cowardly, but she'd chosen only to visit Horatio when she knew he would be asleep. Every day since the showdown with Yelina, she'd snuck into his room at night and watched him as she mulled on the complex feelings she held for this complicated man.

Something had changed within her when she woke this morning. The new day bringing with it a sureness that confronting her fears and confessing her feelings to Horatio was the right thing to do.

He looked at her briefly before his eyes fell to his lap. "I've missed you," he said quietly. "I thought maybe I'd said something to upset you."

Had he not been still recovering, she would have grabbed him and shook him violently.

Why was his first thought always that he was at fault?

"God, no," she said quickly, grabbing his uninjured hand and squeezing it tightly. "It's not that at all."

"I guess the lab's been busy. Being a CSI down and all."

Still he refused to look at her.

"It's not that either."

He looked up at her, confusion written on his face. "Then why?"

Such a simple question.

Such a complicated answer.

Taking a deep breath, she began.

* * *

John Hagen rubbed a tired hand over his face, groaning as the effects of last night's excesses made their presence known.

He'd been a no-show at work again yesterday.

People were starting to ask questions – questions that he didn't have the answers to.

Maybe it was his guilty conscience playing tricks on him, but he'd suspected that someone had been following him recently.

Was it one of the people he'd crossed?

He'd spent so long lying to everyone that he'd ended up tying himself in knots. Trying to keep the lies straight in his head was too much for his overloaded mind to deal with.

What if slipped and said the wrong thing to the wrong person?

It had once seemed so easy to be able to keep up the act. Everyone saw him as the straight and reliable John Hagen, all-American cop. Little did anyone know what lurked just below the surface.

The weight of that expectation had grown heavier until he could no longer bear the weight alone. Living a double life was breaking him. The cracks were increasingly visible each day. It would only take the smallest amount of pressure before the flimsy facade would crumble completely.

He knew that he couldn't carry on living like this. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand to knock on the door, his heart pounding in his chest.

It had taken all his determination to bring himself here. Several times he'd contemplated running away. After everything that had happened, the time had finally come to pay the piper.

He felt sweat running down his back as he heard someone call from behind the door.

"Come in."

* * *

Scanning the surroundings, he checked to see if the coast was clear before getting out of the car.

The other man had given him instructions to meet him here, telling him that a representative of the Mala Noche wanted a meet with them.

Several times over the past few days he had considered bolting completely. The temptation to run and hide had almost been too much.

He'd been floored by the revelation - that the man he'd sacrificed so much for had been playing him all along.

He'd known that he was taking a risk by throwing his hand in with him, yet the payoff was too lucrative for him to resist. It had taken so much to get to this point, he'd risked everything to achieve his goal. He knew that if he threw the towel in now, it would all have been for nothing.

His life had been full of mistakes, full of regrets for the things he'd done and the people he'd hurt along the way. It had never been his intention to leave behind such a trail of destruction or that the people he cared for would be collateral damage in the carnage he'd caused.

He would be remembered for many things in his life, few of them good. The years of lying and betraying those who had trusted him chipping away at his belief that, underneath it all, he was still a good man.

Everything would come down to this.

Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door, his heart hammering in his chest as he heard a voice call out.

"Come in."

* * *

"Wow."

Horatio felt the breath leave his body as he stared at Calleigh, stunned at her revelation.

Calleigh had barely taken a breath, speaking so quickly that his brain was having a hard time keeping up with the amount of words falling from those gorgeous lips of hers.

He cursed the hospital staff for the drugs they were still insisting on giving him.

Surely that was the reason he had misheard her.

He had to be mistaken.

He had misunderstood, surely?

"Are you ok?" she asked, a look of concern on her face.

"Uh," he mumbled, still unsure that he'd heard her correctly. "These damn drugs are still messing with my brain," he growled, motioning to the port still attached to the back of his right hand. "Could you repeat that last bit again?"

His heart sored as she gave him a beaming smile.

"I'll repeat it every single day for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to convince you."

* * *

Taking the small key from his trouser pocket, Rick Stetler unlocked the desk drawer and removed the folder.

Letting out a deep breath, he thumbed through the pages. The gesture more one of reassurance than a need to refresh his memory on the details held inside. Hell, he could recite the contents of the folder verbatim if needed.

It had become an obsession to him. So much so that it had clouded his judgement at times. There had been so many risks he'd taken to get to this point. Had he not been so resolute in his commitment to the mission he'd set himself, the guilt would have eaten away at him long before now.

He had come too far, risked too much to back out now.

The attack on Horatio Caine had been the catalyst. Things had move quickly these past few weeks and it had taken all he had to try to keep the lies straight. He had assumed that having Caine out of the way, albeit temporarily, would make his job easier and yet it had the opposite effect with everyone closing ranks around the injured lieutenant.

The hyper-vigilance of Horatio's team had meant the he'd needed to be even more cautious. One wrong step and everything he had worked for, everything he had risked up until this point, would be for nothing.

So lost in his thoughts, the knock at his office door took him by surprise.

Secreting the folder back in his desk drawer, he placed the key back in his pocket and called out.

"Come in."

* * *

"Horatio, are you ok?" Calleigh asked, placing a hand on his cheek, concern evident in her voice.

He opened his mouth to say something before shutting it again.

She was growing concerned at the blank look on his face.

The hospital staff had reassured her that, with time and rest, Horatio's injuries were all well on their way to healing. They were no longer concerned about the effects of the skull fracture and were satisfied that his damaged kidney had been able to repair itself without surgical intervention.

She suddenly worried that he was having some sort of relapse.

"Horatio, talk to me. You're starting to scare me."

He was looking at her, but his eyes seemed dazed and unfocused.

Finally, the soulful blue eyes cleared.

He spoke quietly.

"Can you pinch me, please?"

"Why?" she asked, thrown by the question.

"I've got this funny feeling that I'm dreaming," he replied, looking intently at her. "And if so, I'm not sure I ever want to wake up."

He smiled at her.

She thought of a more appropriate way to convince him. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss on his lips, holding his face gently in her hands.

* * *

This is was it.

It had all come down to this.

Opening the door, he'd not been surprised to see the other man there. Neither did he miss the look the Hispanic drug dealers gave him as he made his way inside.

"You brought a white boy with you?" one of them said, grinning.

He'd already taken a dislike to them and wanted nothing more than to punch the shit-eating grins off their faces.

Deal or not, he had no time for punks like this.

"It doesn't matter what colour he is. The man knows how to do his job."

He resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow. The man he'd thought he knew could still surprise him, even now.

"This is a big deal we're talking about. You sure you got the stones to handle this?"

"Look, are we gonna stand here measuring our dicks all day or are we gonna talk business?" he said, feeling his temper get the better of him.

He caught the warning look and was surprised when one of the Mala Noche men let out a laugh.

"White boy thinks he's got game, don't you?"

"Why don't you come over here and find out?" he shot back.

He had to prove his worth to these men, otherwise everything he'd worked for would come to nothing.

He saw one of the men approach him, feeling his stomach drop painfully. He refused to be cowed as the man stalked toward him, trying to intimidate him.

He felt a pat on his shoulder. "I think we're gonna have a very successful working partnership here. What do you say, white boy?"

The relief washed over him in waves.

This was it.

He'd achieved what he'd set out to do so long ago.

All the pain, all the risks that he'd taken and the sacrifices he'd made had come to this.

He knew his name and reputation were been ruined beyond repair. He would forever be known as a liar and a cheat. Perhaps they would never truly understand the reasons behind his actions. They would never know the threat that had been hanging over all of them for so long.

His 'companion' had made it clear that, if he pulled out before today, those he cared for the most would be in danger. The Mala Noche would know he was the one to blame if their criminal empire were to crumble around them.

His companion would see to it personally.

He'd had no choice but to do as he was told, as much as it ate at him to do so. He'd known the risks at the start, but it shocked him at just how deep he was in this now. He was in over his head. Although he could live with the thought of being killed for the cause, he couldn't risk the lives of those he loved.

He'd always clung to the hope that he would one day be able to make it right with them. He would need to keep that thought close as he once more took a step into the shadows. Hoping that, this time, he would come out the other side and back into the light.

Taking a deep breath, Raymond Caine shook the hand of the man before him.

"When do we start?"

* * *

 **And that's it, folks!**

 **Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and/or review this story. Your support and encouragement is always very much appreciated. I hope you had as much fun reading this story as I did writing it. I hope that I managed to keep you all guessing as to who 'mystery man' really was :)**

 **I have deliberately left some threads of the story** **unanswered and will consider a sequel of sorts if enough folks are interested in reading it (leave a review or drop me a PM - a writer loves to hear what readers think!)**


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